Roses in the Moonlight
by She-Poe
Summary: If she hadn't let go of him after three years apart- three years of him being in Mai's bed- Katara feared she never would. She knew that she couldn't let go of him even if he did marry another. CH.11
1. Permanent Monday

Chapter One

_(Permanent Monday)_

A tiny sliver of bright moon hung, still, in the deep midnight sky. The radiance that beamed from the sharp slice taken from the black made the snow on the ground glitter like silver and the frozen ocean shine like diamonds. Everything had been well in the Southern Water Tribe since the war had ended. Of course there were the frequent snowstorms and blizzards that had always plagued the people living in those arctic conditions. But no one could be blamed for the weather.

However, life as the only waterbender in the whole nation was a lonely one… even if you were a princess of sorts. Katara had often wondered why she couldn't go to extravagant dances or just be girly, like the other princesses. Unfortunately, she knew that her duty was to be a normal child until she turned 18. Then Sokka would inherit the position of Chief and she would be second in command (vice chief?) Nevertheless, her blue eyes were always seeming to lack that shine they had three whole years ago. Katara had never been quite the same since she left the firenation. Hakoda had the impression that his daughter just wanted to see her old friends again. She hadn't had contact with them since just after Zuko's coronation. They had drifted, just like old friends do. As a father, Hakoda didn't have the heart to tell his daughter that she may never see Aang or Toph or Zuko again.

Katara looked up at the moon each night and watched it grow, and then shrink. Every full moon she fought with herself to keep from hurting someone she loved. Suki and Sokka had even bound her wrists together with cloth once. She would never forget that full moon… it was the first one since she had left the palace in the firenation. At times, the feeling of deep loss and despair settled in Katara's stomach, a feeling associated with both the loss of her mother and (though she never admitted it,) Zuko. Nights were like a living hell anymore; nightmares terrified the girl so bad that she often woke up screaming and stayed up until morning just crying by a fire.

Then there was that constant thought in the back of Katara's mind… When she closed her eyes she saw him. He haunted her dreams like a nightmare gone far too good. Fear was always clinging to her subconscious that she was going to accidentally blurt out the name that she had kept so sacred and so hidden for all this time. _Time_… time had changed her. Before, Katara had been happy with her life in the Southern Water Tribe. She used to be content with the small family and few friends that she held dear. But now… she wanted more. There was a desire to do things she had never done before. Things like swimming in the icy waters around her. Anything to give her the same feeling that she had years ago. Some days, she asked herself deep questions. _What's the point? Why? Is he thinking about me too? _

One morning, Katara opened her eyes to the sun reflecting off the floor of her hut. She blinked against the light. _You rise with the moon. I rise with the sun. _The words echoed in her head. In a daze, she sat up and pulled on a heavy coat, silently thinking that she had never had to do this while they were in disguise in the Firenation. But, of course, she never said a word to anyone. "Good morning, Gran Gran." The girl said sleepily as she stepped out of her hut.

"Good morning? You slept in, dear. Its nearly noon." The old woman nodded her head toward the sky, and then to the children playing nearby.

"Gran Gran! I am so sorry! I guess I'm not feeling myself." Katara apologized, offering a hand to hold a piece of the pelt Gran Gran was cutting. The fur was like a warm blanket, covering her outstretched arms. It was sad to know that it used to belong to an animal, it used to keep _him _warm and _him _safe. But now, _he _was dead. _Everyone has to make sacrifices… I guess. _Memories flashed through Katara's mind for the first time in two years. She saw… actually saw all the sacrifices that she had made in her life. A silent hand went up to the necklace dangling from the girl's neck, in remembrance of both people who had given it to her.

"Its alright. Today is a lazy day anyway. What's been bothering you lately, Katara." Gran Gran asked, putting down the piece of fur in her hands.

Katara's eyes danced around her grandmother's face, examining each line and wrinkle. "Gran Gran… its nothing. Really. You know… just teen stuff."

"Oh, I see. But you haven't been the same since you left your friends. I think you need to go see them. You miss them."

Katara laughed. "Gran Gran, I haven't seen them in years. Besides, last I heard Toph and Aang were dating."

The elderly woman nodded. "But what about that tall fellow you used to hang around with?"

"I haven't heard from him either," she lied a small, sad frown appearing on her face. Zuko had sent countless letters for the first year of their separation. None of them were ever opened. But they were all burned.

"I see. You didn't get along to well with him anyway, so I've heard." Her eyes quickly darted to her grandson, who was helping his father chop wood.

"No. We didn't." Katara put simply. She picked up a needle and some thread and began sewing together two pieces of dried animal hide. Just then, a boy Katara knew from the invasion on the fire nation on the day of the eclipse walked up to them. His dark hair and bright eyes reminded her of someone she used to know.

"Hey Katara," he started, nervously rubbing the back of his hand. Katara looked over her shoulder at him, but didn't say a word. The boy sighed. "I was wondering… maybe you and I could…"

"No." Katara replied quickly, her voice bitter and her eyes flaming.

"Well, I just wanted--"

Katara turned around sharply, dropping the fur to the ground. "I SAID NO!" She yelled. "WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT _NO! _ITS TWO LETTERS… N…O… NOOO!"

"Jeesh… okay, I'm sorry. I'll leave now." He held up his hands in defeat and backed away slowly. Katara picked up the fur at her feet and turned back to the table where a shocked Gran Gran looked at her.

"What?" She asked annoyed. Her grandmother looked away, still surprised at Katara's actions.

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That night Katara dreamed of a boy with dark hair and golden eyes. First, they were stuck together in a glowing green room. A strange feeling was sent through her body as she saw her hand touch the boy's face. Just as her fingers made contact with his scarred skin, the scene changed and suddenly she was standing under a crumbling ceiling and the boy from the cave jumped and wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her out of the way. They hit the ground and Katara twitched, then the scene changed again. She was thrown into a position that was only used to blood bend. She saw the boy's eyes widen in shock, then he turned away and started yelling at a man in fire nation garb. The next thing she knew she was hugging the boy. Images began flashing quickly through her head… she and the boy were sitting by a lake, she went under the water and the boy jumped in after her, a scared expression on his face. They were in a dark cell, she was being beaten and the boy was so afraid. She was hurt so the boy held her and searched desperately for help. When they found it, the boy and the healer knew each other… they were family. Slowly Katara saw herself fall for those golden eyes. Eventually, they kissed. But they couldn't tell anyone how they felt about one another. So they hid it. Another feeling was stabbed through her body as she watched the boy jump in front of her… he fell to the ground. Only then did Katara hear his name.

"Zuko!" She yelled, sitting straight up in bed. The girl bit her lip and tears pricked the back of her eyes as a hand flew up to her mouth to muffle a sob. Her teary eyes shot over to the fire smoldering on the hearth. Crying quietly, she walked over to the fire and warmed her hands. "This is not fair," she murmured, clenching her fists so tight that her fingernails left little half moons in her palms. "Please," she whispered, tilting her head toward the sky. "Just give me a break!"

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**Just Talking**

**Woot, chappie one… done! Now, I'm doing the sequel a little different. Each chapter is based on a song. The song will be the title of the Chapter and located below the chapter number **_**Chapter One…. Permanent Monday. **_**I'm going to be alternating POVs until our characters come together. Each chappie will be all in one of Zuko or Katara's POV. But in 3****rd**** person… I don't like to write in first person. Don't know why… just don't. **

**\/**_**SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!**_**\/**

**If you want a preview for the next chapter listen to the song To Be With You by David Archuleta. That's only if you want a little spoiler. If you want an even bigger spoiler for a much later chapter listen to Run To You by Lady Antebellum. **

**Other Stuff**

**Okay, enough spoilers… Lol. What do you think. Not much Zutara but I made it as Zutarian a first chapter can be… the dream was my fave part to write. It is choppy on purpose, who remembers their dreams perfectly???? OH speaking of dreams, I had a dream last night that I was watchin the New MOVIE it looked really good in my head… I am still unhappy with the casting… and it will be hard to be a zutarian when the zu looks like poo. ****L :'( Sorry Dev, you would have made a better Sokka… ACK!!! **

**~She Poe**


	2. To Be With You

_Disclaimer- I Do not own ATLA. Only the original plotline. _

Chapter Two

_(To Be With You)_

Zuko stood on the balcony and stared up at the moon. It was a warm summer evening in the fire nation and the firelord was not attending any parties or being followed by a squad of crazy girls, or even by his own (Self claimed) girlfriend. For a moment Zuko's mind flashed back to the night of his coronation. He'd been standing in that exact spot looking at the same moon and feeling the same emptiness. He sighed and looked down at the water where boats were once floating. But now there was nothing. Only waves and the reflection of the moon on those waves. The shine still reminded him of her. The girl with the blue eyes. He, of course had not spoken her name in years, but never ceased to think about her. Zuko tried to appreciate the girl he had; there was just too little to her though. Even now, she felt nothing. (And she still had the mullet pigtail thing going on…) Mai simply wasn't enough.

Again, Zuko sighed, recalling the dull voice that nagged him all day everyday. It was like she was his wife… but he would never marry her. Never. They had been good friends once; but that was a long time ago. It seemed as if they had drifted as far apart in ideas that the north and southern water tribes. Of course that's what his mind flicked to… the water tribes. Quickly, the firelord brushed the thought away. He wouldn't ruin Katara's life at home just because he was unhappy. There was no doubt in his mind that everything was going perfectly for her. She was beautiful and kind. Probably married. Married!? Mentally, Zuko slapped himself. She had more sense than to marry at a young age. He knew she wasn't married. Why would he even think that?

The sound of approaching footsteps made Zuko turn around. "Zuko," a dismal voice said. Mai. Yuck. "I'm breaking up with you. We have been dating for four years and I'm still not happy. We are through. Good bye." Mai flicked her pigtail and walked out of the room.

"Okay??" Zuko asked himself. "Should I be sad… or angry… or anything?" He thought a minute and then shrugged. Oh well, he knew that he was happier without her. Suddenly, a smile spread over his face… though it felt out of place- he'd just been dumped.

The days that passed seemed a little less bleak without Mai downing on everything. But there was still a void that needed to be filled. Without meaning to, he thought of the blue eyed girl. She hadn't crossed his mind in a while, but when she did, it brought back painful memories. Zuko tried to ignore the memories he had brought forth and attempted to shove them aside. Something inside of him turned over. He would not allow himself to regret and dwell on the decisions he had made in the past. What has happened has happened and it won't happen again, he promised himself often. Almost as often as he wondered if she thought of him. Once every year, Zuko brought himself to holding a pen just above a piece of paper and hesitantly scratching a letter, then a word, then two. That was as far as he had ever gotten; after that, he crumpled the paper and disintegrated it between his hands.

________________________________________________________________________

A light breeze ruffled the shrubs in the palace garden. Zuko sat by the pond with his back against an old tree; this had always been his place to go when he needed to think- only now, there was no one to bother him. Or comfort him, or show him what to do. The firelord exhaled angrily and clenched his fists. He wanted to scream. This wasn't fair. When he looked around, everything he saw was perfect. There was too much perfect. All he wanted was a little imperfect, to remind him of the way things used to be… back when he was _just _Zuko.

Zuko's eyes wandered slowly around the garden. He noticed that it was in full, fiery bloom. The red rose bushes that his mother had planted stretched across the east wall of the garden. A patch of fire lilies set the center of the garden a blaze. As Zuko shifted his position, he felt something under his hand. Gently, he plucked the tiny blue weed from the dirt and looked at it longingly. When he couldn't bear to look at it any longer, his eyes drifted to the body of water in front of him and he closed his hand around the flower. Laughing quietly, he realized that he had found his imperfect. One blue flower in a sea of red. Again, memories were drug from his mind, but shoved away once more by a stern firelord who refused to think about _her _anymore.

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**Just Talking**

**Hi mah peeps. School has resumed! Aren't you glad? :-p Well, as you know, this chapter was like the Zuko version of chappie one. It was based on the song To Be With You by David Archuleta. Gotta love Archie! **

**SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!**

**Again, if you want a spoiler for a much later chapter, listen to the song Run To You by Lady Antebellum. A spoiler for the next chapter… listen to One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks.**

**Other Stuff**

**Not much else to say… other than: didja like it? Didja didja didja? Lol, seriously though, read review. And PLEASE UNPLUG YOUR CELL PHONE CHARGERS WHEN YOU AREN'T USING THEM! IT'LL SAVE THE WORLD! SERIOUSLY, YOU COULD BE LIKE, THE NEXT BATMAN OR SOMETHING! JUST DO IT FOR THE WORLD! FOR YOU CHILDREN! FOR THE WOLFIES! FOR THE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA AND ALL OVER THE WORLD! FOR THE HOMELESS MAN THAT LIVES NEAR THE SHOPPING CENTER! FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**~She Poe **


	3. One Step at a Time

Chapter Three

(One Step at a Time)

Needle in hand, Katara stared at a torn smock. Her mind was in another place… in another time. It was Gran Gran (Good ole' gran gran!) who brought her back to earth. "Katara," she started, her old voice timid. She waited for her granddaughter to turn around before continuing. "Don't be angry with me or your father. Last week you received an invitation to a party being held on Ember Island. All of your friends are going to be there. Aang, Toph, Suki." Katara tilted her head as if to say… Okay? "Well, with Sokka's permission, we accepted the invitation for you."

"YOU DID WHAT!?" Katara burst out in a fit of rage, subconsciously turning the snow around her to solid ice. "Why would you do that!? I am _perfectly _happy here at home where I belong." Anger boiled through her veins, turning her face red. Gran Gran took a step back, almost slipping on the snow-turned-ice. "Gran Gran, I don't need anything that I don't have here," Katara said, calming herself.

"I think you need to have some fun," Sokka started, walking up behind Gran Gran. "It'll do us both some good to get away for a little vacation. Trust me, you've been hard at work for three years straight…" he pulled his sister to the side and continued in a whisper. "I know you're not happy, I've heard you cry in the middle of the night. And believe it or not, I don't like it when you're upset, baby sister."

Katara pushed her brother away and crossed her arms angrily. "I'm not a baby, Sokka! I'm not a baby…" Sokka sighed and resumed his chores. Gran Gran nudged Katara telling her to follow her brother's example. Silently picking up a needle, the young water bender continued sewing the torn smock that she still clutched in her hands.

Later that night, Katara sat in her bed, an open book idle in her hands. Again, her mind had drifted off. _Three years_. Sokka's voice echoed in her head, reminding her painfully of how long it had been since… A yawn escaped her mouth as she stretched and started to lay down. Silently, her eyes closed then snapped back open. She saw _his _face. She saw _him _again. _All your friends will be there… _"That's another reason I can't go," Katara whispered to herself. Throwing her fists into her pillow, she yelled, "Why can't I just forget!?"

The cold settled on Katara's tear streaked face. Another nightmare had woken her up. Again, she found herself crouching by the fire trying to forget everything; the dream, and everyone in it. "Are you alright?" Katara jumped at the unexpected voice. Then she stood up and ran to her brother.

"I can't stand this Sokka!" she cried. "I haven't slept in three years! I want to just forget everything… I want mom!" Sokka pulled her into a hug.

"I know. I miss her even more now too," he said, trying to comfort his little sister.

"How long would we be gone?" Katara asked, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She saw Sokka smile.

"They invited us up for a month. That way we'll get some time to hang out with the group." _The group_? The words sounded funny in his noticeably deeper voice. At times he wished he could make it crack and pop like it used to just to get the laughs. "Now, you should go and get some sleep, little sister. Or at least try to." He hugged Katara one more time then made sure she was safely asleep before returning to his own hut next door.

*************

Silently smiling, Katara fastened her mother's necklace around her neck. Never had she thought that she would be happy to go the fire nation. Everything had been packed in advance, then unpacked, then repacked. Excitement ran through her veins like horses on an open plane. Blood rushed to her face making her blush in childish delight. Her head spun and her heart swelled more than it had in years. She was going _home_!

Suddenly, Katara jumped away from the mirror, the two pieces of beaded hair hanging elegantly in front of her face. Shock poured from her eyes… what was she thinking? The fire nation wasn't her home... this was her home. Instantly all those pent up emotions of confusion and rage burst out in laughter and tears all at the same time. She couldn't tell weather she was laughing so hard she was crying or if she was crying so hard that she was laughing. It didn't really matter though; Katara grabbed her bag and arrived just in time to catch the small boat that would take them the whole way to the fire nation, ice forming on her cheeks.

* * *

** Just Talking**

Wooh, hi kids!! Didja like it? Again the song for this chappie was One Step at A time, Jordin Sparks.

**SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!**

Again, listen to Run to You by Lady Antabellum for a preview of the far future. For next chappie... hm, I'm not sure. I'll let you know asap!

**READ AND REIVEW!**

Without your opinion, I can't make anything better! I need you to help me! I will take suggestions. Tell me a song that reminds you of Zutara... who knows, maybe it will be in one of the chappies?

~She Poe


	4. Some Say

Chapter 4

(Some Say)

There wasn't room to walk or move, or fidget… or even breathe. Faces were indistinguishable. People were separated by the color of their shirts… some blue, some red, some green. Everything just kind of meshed together in one rainbow blob. Suddenly, from his place above all the people, Zuko saw someone he recognized smiling up at him. Her blue eyes were wet with tears of joy and her face was as soft and delicate as a newly bloomed cherry blossom. Slowly, her face curled into a gentle smile that gave him a sense of reassurance. Then the girl nodded, her eyes closing lazily as she did. Suddenly, Zuko heard the whistling of wind passing by his ears and felt it cool his face. The girl was now right in front of him. So close in fact, that he could have reached out and touched her face. His arm shook as he stretched it out to the beautiful girl standing before him. Now that he had touched her, Zuko was sure she was real. Without hesitation, the girl drew close to him and pressed her lips against his. After some time, she pulled away and opened her mouth to speak. "Zuko." she said in a voice almost as beautiful as the person that it belonged to. Vehemently, the girl's head turned to the side, curtaining her face with her dark brown hair. She looked back at him, her blue eyes piercing his gold ones. Then, she stood on her toes and whispered in his ear, "_Wake up_."

The sheets fell off Zuko's chest as he sat bolt upright in bed. He wiped the back of his hand over his face and blinked away the sleep in his eyes. A sharp knock on the door indicated a visitor. _Who would… at this time… _Uncle_. _He jumped out of bed quickly and without a sound. Pulling on a black silk robe, the Fire Lord strode over to open the door. As he had suspected, Uncle Iroh stood outside his door with a wide grin on his face and a thin paper in his hand. "I hope I did not interrupt your sleep, nephew, but I have received wonderful news!"

"No, Its alright, Uncle." Zuko held the door open for the aging man to enter. Still groggy, he asked what the 'wonderful news' was.

"Your old friends have decided to throw a party to get everyone together and reminisce on old times and you have been invited! Isn't that great?"

"A _party_?" Zuko asked his uncle, who handed him the small piece of paper. "Wait… on Ember Island? I guess we are staying at the old family home there?" Zuko had given Aang, Toph, Katara, and Sokka permanent rooms in his family's vacation home. He had told them they were welcome there anytime. But no one had taken him up on his offer till now. Realizing the time and how tired he still was, Zuko turned to his uncle. "You woke me up to invite me to a party?" Uncle grinned sheepishly, his eyes tiny lines almost lost in all the other wrinkles in his face. "This weekend?" Uncle's smile somehow got larger as his nephew sighed. Sleepily, Zuko yawned "Ok, I'll go."

"Excellent!" Uncle cried a little too loudly. "I'll let Aang know immediately." Quickly Iroh exited the room and closed the door with a bang that made the Fire Lord jump. With another yawn, Zuko crawled back in bed with the remnants of his dream-still fresh in his mind- replaying in his head.

Not too many hours later, Zuko's eyes cracked open again, this time due to the first rays of sun. Pushing the blankets off of himself, he stretched his arms above his head, wishing he could sleep in, remembering how jealous the sleeping water bender had made him feel. A smile came over his face and he gave a little laugh at the memory still as if those wonderful weeks had ended only yesterday. "It was all so innocent…" he sighed. In an effort to brush the memories away, Zuko shook his head. If he ever saw her again, she would have probably moved on. She was too smart to wallow in the distant past… she was too pretty to not have moved on. And Zuko was sure that she would not refuse a wedding proposal just because of a brief relationship that they had shared. No doubt that she was happily laughing right this second with the one she loved. "Knock it off!" Zuko scolded himself out loud.

After he had gathered himself, Zuko pulled on a dark red and headed outside to practice his bending. Each time he punched the air he felt a quick burst of heat coming out from his chest, down his arm and pulled from his fist like a drop of fiery water shooting across the open courtyard and disappearing gradually. An hour into his training, Zuko decided to give himself a quick break. As he tried to catch his breath, he noticed Mai striding across the terrace above him. She turned her head toward him and her evil black eyes glared at him. A weird chill went down his back as if to say… _dude, what were you thinking? _

The day passed slowly. Each boring chore seeming to drag on and on. When it was time for Zuko to retire for the night, he instead began packing some clothes and ink and paper and quills and everything else he would need for his vacation. A _month _long vacation. With the Firenation still recovering both politically and for most people, emotionally, he was unsure weather or not he should be leaving so soon after his coronation. "Listen, nephew; you have been working without leave for three years straight. You deserve to have a break." Uncle had been trying to convince Zuko not to feel guilty all day. Eventually, it worked, and he decided that he was vacationing and he was not going to worry about anything related to politics. And at that, Uncle was content.

Zuko looked at the pearl dagger neatly placed on his nightstand beside a candle dripping slowly on to a wide glass plate. A thought curled through him, he'd been wanting to for years. Why not? With a smile, he picked up the knife and gathered this hair in a ponytail on top of his head. The knife slid between his hand and his scalp and his hair fell back to the same length it was three whole years ago. _I haven't changed _that_ much_… he thought, placing the knife back in its place and throwing the fistful of black hair in a trash bucket. Sleepiness set in quickly; Zuko blew out the candle beside him and fell into a relaxed sleep.

*******************

Green palm trees met the bright blue ocean with a thin strip of white sand. Old crooked homes lined the beach with dry, cracked staircases and dark wood exteriors. Shells decorated porches and wind chimes clinked together in the warm summer breeze. "Ember Island. Long time no see." Zuko muttered as he lifted his bags off the boat. His vacation was about to begin.

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Hi People! As you know, this chapter was based on the song Some Say by Rascal Flatts. I know that the title is NOT correct. My computer screwed up the titles to my songs so… yeah. This would be one of the times where you send me a song title that you think fits this chapter. Ha, sorry kids! (Just something my friends and I say. I know your not ALL kids. J)

For a preview of the next chappie listen to Guardian Angel

**~She Poe**


	5. Guardian Angel

Chapter 5

(Guardian Angel)

The ship rocked with the waves gently. It was a feeling that, by now, Katara was used to. Sokka, however, didn't seem to care for the motion at all. You'd think after all the time they had spent on boats that Sokka wouldn't mind. But, Katara Supposed, this was a very different kind of boat than they had been on in a very long time. As she laid on her cot, Katara found herself scratching a letter on the back of her hand. Her blue eyes widened as they saw the raw puffed skin that formed a letter **Z**. Quickly, Katara covered the scratch with her mouth and began biting on her hand. When she pulled it away, the letter was blurred by a red indentation of her teeth, which hadn't quite pierced the skin but came dangerously close. Katara sighed, wondering how she would deal if he… he… talked to her. What if he touched her? What if he hadn't moved on with his life like she hadn't. A thin line of blood curled down Katara's chin, only then had she realized that she had been biting her lip. "Oh God. I can't do this." Instantly, her stomach had began to churn, making the girl feel queasy. In a burst of realization she found herself running toward the deck, her hand over her mouth. She came to a sudden stop as her hands hit the railing and her head flew over the side

Nauseated, Katara stood upright, a hand over her stomach as if to calm it. "You sick too?" Sokka muttered, coming behind her.

"No. Just anxious. Nervous… You know." A forced smile and she was gone, back down the stairs to her small quarters. With a thump, she flopped back on the hard mattress, her eyes foggy and her head spinning. Eventually, those eyes closed and she slipped into a deep, relaxed sleep.

She was spinning. Faces were flying by in the background. One face, however, remained steady and close to her. It was the face of a handsome young man with seemingly glowing golden eyes. He was smiling at her and laughing as music faded in and out of focus. His face was almost perfect… except for that scar. A sad smile came across her face. She wanted so badly for him to be rid of that mark. She wanted him to forget all the pain and just be with her. Though he was smiling, his eyes were so full of anger and pain and disappointment. If only… If only…

Katara found herself and the boy walking down a dark corridor lit only by a few wide spread torches. Silhouetted by the fire, the boy stopped her in the middle of the corridor by touching her arm lightly. He held her shoulders in his hands as he leaned down to her. Their lips met with a slight spark; causing them to pull away almost as soon as they came together. The boy smiled, showing his teeth in a laugh. Katara did the same. Silently they both leaned in again, this time when that little spark shot between their lips they didn't pull away. Out of breath, Katara whispered "_I love you_." Her own voice reverberated metallically through the empty rooms as she pressed her lips on his again.

"Katara?" Sokka's voice screeched. The girl gasped as she pulled away from the boy's warm kiss. Astonished, she turned and began running her brother directly behind her. Running again. She was tired of running, of hiding who she was. Violently, she stopped herself, grasping the boy's hand. "Sokka." She started hesitantly. "I-I love him."

Katara sat up suddenly, hitting her head off the ceiling. "Shit!" She muttered. The boat was unnaturally still. What was going on? Slowly standing, Katara walked carefully up the steps to the deck where she met a beaming Sokka.

"We are here!" He said with a smile. "Land! Dry, not moving, land!" Sokka rushed down the ramp and onto the sand falling over immediately. "I guess I don't have my land legs yet." He yelped with a mouth full of sand. Katara laughed as she made her way slowly to shore. She held her bag against her chest, suddenly self-conscious. The last time she wore anything this revealing was the last time she was in the fire nation three years before. She wasn't used to seeing her arms or ankles. She felt… exposed.

Nothing had changed since their last visit. Few people were occupying the beach, the old family house still had the same peeling siding, and the garden around back was still badly over grown. Sokka turned the key in the lock and the door creaked open. "Hello?" Katara called cautiously.

"Howdy Sugar Queen!" a voice rang out.

"Hi guys!" another sang.

"Aang! Toph! I missed you guys!" Katara said hugging them both. Had she been to happy to notice them holding hands? "Wow, how long have you two been…"

"Three years and still goin' strong!" Toph announced proudly, her blind eyes squinting with joy.

"That's great!"

"Hey! Its Sparkey! Way to join the party!" Toph yelled as the door opened.

Katara turned in trepidation, not knowing what to expect. As her eyes fell upon him, her breath left her. She felt as though she was going to be sick. He hadn't changed a bit since… well, _then_. Zuko smiled and put his bag on a chair. Toph ran over to him and hugged him. Sokka and Aang shook his hand. But Katara couldn't move. "Uh, hi." He said with a sigh; his golden eyes falling on her. Hesitantly he put a hand out in her direction. She grasped it but showed no emotion.

"Hi," she said with a slight smile, just to seem friendly. Their hands separated and they returned to the rest of the group. "So, are all the rooms still the same?" The question was directed at Zuko. He nodded and the group dispersed, each walking down separate hallways.

"Wow," Katara murmured. "Nothing has changed _at _all." She looked at the cracked picture frames and ancient family portraits; her eyes falling only on Zuko and Ursa. Neither of them smiling. Azula and Ozai both had the same malicious smirk on their faces. Clearly they had both inherited a severe mental disorder. Luckily Zuko hadn't inherited it as well. Whilst she had been looking at the portraits that lined the walls, Katara had forgotten how uneven the floorboards were. Her shoe caught a raised edge and she began falling toward the ground. On impulse she covered her face with her arms and waited for impact. Suddenly, she felt strong arms around her. A squeal escaped her lungs as her body stiffened. She looked up and expected to see Sokka or Aang. But it wasn't. "Zuko?" She asked.

"Yeah… my room's right there." he motioned to the room across the hall, only a few doors down from her own. "I came around the corner and saw you catch your foot and I…"

"Yeah. Well… you can let me go now," Katara reminded him that he still held her awkwardly in his arms.

"Oh, sorry."

"Thanks." Katara straightened her tunic and opened the door to her room. "I'll see you around."

"Yeah." The door closed in front of Zuko, blue eyes peering at him until the door was completely shut. Nervously, he exhaled… almost as if he had to meditate. Arms crossed in self-consciousness, Zuko leaned against the wall and continued to breathe. She had moved on. He could tell.

On the other side of the door, Katara sat on the bed, fear trickling down her back. "Oh God. Oh God Oh god ohgod ogod ogod!" She whispered under her breath. It was over. Finally. And he had moved on. She could tell.

________________________________________________________________________

**Yes! Mild Sexual Tension. WOO! Isn't it depressing, yet fulfilling all at once?**

**Ok, another Archie song comin' atcha! **_**Don't Let Go.**_

**She Poe**


	6. Don't Let Go

**Chapter Six**

**(Don't Let Go)**

The door closed in front of Zuko with a click as the lock slid into place. So many emotions had filled him only moments ago. Fear, happiness, comfort, reminiscence. His heart had pounded as the girl literally fell into his arms. He had simply walked around the corner to find Katara in mid fall. What kind of a man would he be if he had simply let a beautiful young woman fall to the ground? As if by habit, he ran to her. The promise that he had made to his mother so long ago was dusted off and felt like new in his mind. The moment-however brief it was- that he held her in his arms was tense. There was nothing in her eyes as they met his own. A spark of thanks, maybe. But nothing else.

Zuko recalled her blank, lingering stare. Had he been staring back? Or was it that she simply just couldn't believe what he had just done for her? Both, maybe. Now, he found himself reaching for the handle to Katara's door. Instead, he placed both hands silently on the door, trying to see the awkward moment through the door's eyes. His breath came quietly as he rested his head on the door.

Katara sighed with relief as the door closed. Every muscle in her body was tight; she just wanted to collapse. Her hand was firmly placed at her chest, measuring her rapid pulse. In a silent gasp, Katara fell against her door. The moment she had raised her head, she had been so close to him. His face mere inches from her own. A pain had curled inside of her in that moment. A deep longing to kiss him had spread through her like a disease, slowly breaking her down and-if it hadn't been for the brief amount of time that she had been in his arms- would have completely taken over. She was ashamed of herself. Why had she hung on to him like that? She should have just let go. But she couldn't. There was something in her soul that couldn't give him up. In a way, she was addicted to him. Every time she promised herself to quit and move on, she felt like she was betraying him. Every night she dreamt of him. Every second he was on her mind. And now, all she wanted was rid of him. "Just leave, Zuko." Katara murmured into the door. "I don't love you anymore. I can't." Quietly, and unaware of Zuko's presence, Katara began weeping softly to herself.

The sheer sound of the innocent girl's crying made Zuko cringe. He shrunk away from the door, stunned and in disbelief. Confusion and anger mixed in his mind, sending him into a state of complete helplessness. Had there been something he had done to make her say such a thing. If not, who was she in love with. Surely someone else had come into her life. She wouldn't have spent all those years alone. She wouldn't tell him she didn't love him if she had no one else to love. The time she had spent in the south pole must have been full of danger, Zuko concluded. How else would her senses be so keen as to notice his silent presence through nearly two inches of dense wood. Katara had changed so much since that summer. Now, she shied away from him; something she had never done.

………………………………........................................................................................

Katara woke up the next morning, relaxed and seemingly refreshed. She looked at her reflection in the round vanity mirror hanging opposite her bed. Her eyes were bright and her face didn't look red and wind burned. Then, she realized that her hair looked awful. After finding a bottle of rosy smelling perfume and a small basin full of water quietly tucked in one corner of her room, Katara began to alternately bend fresh water and scented water through her hair, overall freshening and cleaning her long brown locks. Excitedly, Katara fixed her hair with great care; this would be the first time she would be allowed to show her hair in years. Back at the pole, when they were around men, women were to wear their hair tied behind their heads, with their hoods covering the thick braid that laid down their backs. Katara had packed several different carved beads to put in her hair. Weather to braid them in or just string them on and knot them into place; now that was the question.

Finally, Katara had decided on a suitable hair style and pulled on one of her nicer tunics, of course with some navy blue leggings and a dark brown leather belt. She covered her hands (which still had scars from Aang's first time fire bending) with fingerless gloves that stretched up to her elbows, and brushed her bare fingers against the swirling scar on her cheek. She sighed, trembling as she remembered how she had acquired such a large blemish on her face. The one who had given it to her; he had seemed so cruel at that moment, yet so kind and loving afterwards. He had done something horrible to her, and yet, he worried like mad the moment someone else had hurt her. Her mouth fell open in a gasp as she hugged her ribs in remembrance of the way that man had beat her. Shuddering, she almost felt the boy's warmth… his heart racing as he frantically searched for help. All the while, she had hugged his neck and cried into his shirt. Her past. _Their _past.

The house was quiet, warm. Katara wandered around, brushing her hands over the course fabric of the couch, and letting her bare feet glide over the seemingly new maroon rug that laid in the middle of the living room. An unlit fire place watched over everything like a father would watch over his wife and children. More paintings were scattered on the walls. Silently, Katara made her way out side to the garden behind the house. It was huge, with orange fire lilies everywhere and what sounded like a fountain somewhere in the distance. Following her ears toward the sound of gushing water, Katara stumbled upon a wide opening where the lilies subsided and an oasis of bright red roses and a tall spewing fountain marked the exact middle of the garden. As she stepped into the grass, Katara found a boy sitting on a carved stone bench. His eyes were fixed on the water. He watched it as it sprayed from the top, leaving a silver mist on the grass below. Noticing his deep golden eyes, Katara gasped, drawing his attention.

"Hey!" he yelled, having seen only a curtain of dark hair disappearing behind the green bush. He chased the shadow, which kept ducking between shrubs and around corners. The figure stopped and turned its head from side to side, then took off again. Zuko persisted after it. A darkly gloved hand trailed behind the person, and Zuko saw an opportunity. He reached out and grabbed the wrist, twisting the arm attached to it and bringing a thin, screaming girl down on top of him.

"Let go of me! Let go!" She yelled, thrashing to get off of him.

"Katara!?"

"Yeah! Let the frick go of me!!" Zuko released her and she scrambled to her feet, rubbing her wrist as she tried to catch her breath. "What the _hell _was that about?"

Zuko sat up, wiping his hand over his face as if to erase the embarrassment written all over it. "That place, no one has ever set foot there but my mother. She showed it to me when I was eight. Before things got bad. Before this." Without even motioning toward it, Katara's eyes brushed over the scar on the boys face, a sudden sadness washed over her. Guilt. "I just, didn't want anyone going there. The roses were kinda my mom's thing, you know? It just reminded me of her. You of all people should know what that's like." He fought with himself, trying not to bring up that if she no longer cared for him, then why should she expect any different reaction.

"Well, I'm sorry. But that didn't give you reason to attack me!" Katara replied sharply, turning to walk away. She had admitted to her self just last night that she would not love him anymore. And she strived to hate him. "Listen." She said, folding her arms across her chest. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." Zuko countered curtly, unable to meet the girl's eyes.

………………………………...........................................................................................

The day passed lazily; everyone lounged around and caught up. Even Zuko seemed in good spirits. Katara chatted with Toph and Suki while the guys all hung out together. "So, Queenie," Toph started. "How's life? Any new beaus we should know about?" She smiled slyly and her blind eyes lit up.

"Yeah, I'm still with Sokka. Toph and Aang are together. Zuko's with Mai- so I hear. So, who is it for you?" Suki chimed in.

Katara was taken aback by her statement. _Zuko's with Mai. _"I, I, Uh, no one. I'm not dating anyone right now. I just haven't found anyone…" She stuttered, trying not to glance over her shoulder.

Toph smiled again. She could feel the girl's heart racing when Suki had mentioned that bit about Mai and Zuko being together. She had also felt their hearts racing early that morning. Just like old times. The tension between those two was still taught enough to play like a fiddle. She sighed. "Alright. Don't worry, Queenie. You'll find your king."

Katara felt her back straighten. "What?" She asked sharply.

"Relax. Its just an expression."

"Oh, okay," Katara sighed, quickly blinking over her shoulder. Later, everyone reassembled into one giant cluster in the center of the room. Suki and Sokka perched on the sofa. Zuko, Aang, Katara, and Toph all sat cross-legged in front of the neatly placed furniture. Sokka noticed an expression on his sister's face that he hadn't seen in so long. Her eyes were bright, her smile- well, it was there for one thing. A laugh curled through the air like steam from a tea kettle or silvery smoke from a campfire. There was something in her eyes that made Sokka notice the palpable tension Katara was holding against Zuko. Though she was laughing, she kept her face turned away from him and answered him tersely whenever she had to.

"I knew this vacation would make you happy," Sokka pointed out. Katara nodded, still giggling.

_I'm _not _going to let that jerk and his girlfriend ruin my vacation. _Katara thought as she forced herself to laugh at one of Toph's quick remarks. _He's moved on, now you have to! _Zuko looked at her quietly, waiting for her to say something, but she just shot him one of her sideways glances that said so much without a word. His eyes darted away from her and he swiftly dropped into a conversation and smiled as he agreed to a comment Sokka had made. She remembered that smile. He wasn't really happy; that was a fact. No wonder, he had spent the past three years with Mai. Three years. With Mai. Katara shivered, that must have been torture.

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**Hi kids! What did you think? Woot, two physical zutarian moments all in two chapters! Yeah! Well, I tried to make this chapter longer. Its like four pages on Word but it'll probably look a lot shorter once I post it. Oh well. In this chapter, we get a tiny glimpse of the meaning of the Title. You will just have to wait a smidgen longer to really know what the title means. *Sigh* Don't give up on me, I promise I'm trying to get this as good as possible. More Zutarianess next time!**

**~She Poe**


	7. Kissing the Innocent

Chapter Seven

(**Reader's Choice--Pick your own song, send me the title and I'll rename the chapter with the best song!)**

Katara had been doing everything in her power to stay away from Zuko. She cut across the hall , ducked around a corner, or just walked straight past- depending on what was easiest. Some vacation this was turning out to be, she spent all her time constantly looking out for him, and some days, she just wanted to scream at him for not waiting for her like she had done for him. About a week into their vacation, everyone had finally convinced everyone else to go to the beach. There were things to be packed, So Katara kept herself busy all morning.

Zuko had by now, noticed Katara's odd behavior. "Hey," he started awkwardly, handing her a towel to put in the basket. She glanced at him, her blue eyes almost as cold as frigid water. "Listen, I know things have changed a lot for both of us. But I don't think that we can't still be friends. (A/N: "Its not like I'm going to glomp you or anything *Wink*")"

Friends? That's all he wanted to be… friends? The word cut her open. Now, by looking straight at her with his gold eyes, it was throwing salt in the wound. Blinking to keep back tears, Katara bit her tongue and forced herself to smile. "Yes, friends." Zuko smiled and relaxed a bit. Still, though, he was less than a foot away from her- and that made her uneasy. For the first time since their arrival, she actually looked in his eyes with a shy smile on her lips. "So, uh… how are things going with…"

"Mai?" Zuko asked, watching a dark figure come out of the living room. "What are you doing here?" This wasn't right… his old girlfriend shouldn't be here, especially when he's talking to Katara. (No, nope, no. That wasn't happening! Lalalalalalalalalalaah!) The figure shrugged.

"Uh…" Katara started. "I'll just be going now…" she pointed toward the door and left the room quickly, bumping into Toph as she rounded the corner.

"What the Hell are you doing!?" Toph squealed.

"Sorry, I was just coming around the corner…"

"No, you idiot! You left them alone! She'll probably slit his wrists or something!" Toph grabbed Katara's sleeve and pulled her back into the kitchen door way where they saw-well Katara saw and Toph felt- Mai jabbing a kiss right on Zuko's mouth. Instantly, Katara's heart sank. Her world had stopped spinning. Up until now she never really thought… but there they were- kissing. In the exact same spot that she had been standing in less that ten seconds ago. Having seen enough, Katara turned around and ran out of the room. Her heart started to pound in rage and sadness. Silently, she skidded around a corner, almost colliding with Suki.

"What's wrong, Katara?" Suki asked as the girl ran past.

"Nothing!" Katara said as she darted toward her room.

Suddenly, Suki heard Zuko yell; 'What the Hell Mai! We are through! You can't just go kissing me like that What. The. Hell!' She grasped the door frame and peeked into the kitchen where she saw Zuko pushing Queen Doom away from him. '_You _are the one that broke up with _me_, so I don't want you to come back into my life and…'

'And what? Break up things with that water bending skank!' Mai threw a pale finger toward the door.

'She is not a skank! And there is nothing going on between us! We just established a friendship, and if you aren't into me anymore then why do you care if I did have a thing for her?'

'So you do have a thing for her!'

'No! I don't!'

'Then why won't you let me kiss you?'

'Because Mai, I don't love you… I never have.'

The girl dressed in black gaped as she stepped back. 'That's a lie!'

Zuko laughed and looked around the room. 'No, its not,' He smiled. His eyes lit up in amusement as he watched the girl fall deeper into rage. 'Mai, I have never really felt anything when I'm with you. Honestly, I've felt more love toward a Ostrich-Horse than I have for you.' Mai gasped as her face reddened. Finally she stormed out of the house, nearly in tears for the first time in her life.

"Whoa! Epic!" Suki whispered as she turned back to go into the living room.

************************************************************************

Katara slammed the door behind her in teary fury. How could he! How dare he! After everything how can he have the nerve to… She was standing right there! She could have turned around and her forehead would have bumped his chin, that's how close they had been. That how close he had come to her. But he was a player. He didn't care. He hurt her and probably didn't even care! She shoved her face into a pillow to smother a scream. Quickly, she was so lost in sorrow that she didn't even notice her door opening. "Hey, Sugar Queen…" a small voice asked timidly. Katara, her face streaked with tears looked up from her soaked pillow.

"Hi Toph," She whispered.

"Listen… I know I'm not too good with this stuff, but I can tell your upset. And I know why, too." Katara pushed herself up to her palms and tucked her legs underneath her. "I know that you still have a thing for Princey. I knew about it before too." She felt the girl's face slacken and sighed as she continued. "I just want you to know that I won't tell anybody and I'm here for you, Queenie."

"You knew?" Katara asked, her blue eyes wide and her hands sweating beneath the dark gloves.

"Yeah, and Sokka kinda figured it out on his own. But we are the only ones who know, I promise." Toph darted her blind eyes around the room as if she could see what it looked like. "Oh, and I can tell you that wha-" a loud knock on the door stopped her mid sentence. Silently she slid off the edge of the bed where she had been sitting. "Well, what are you waiting for, open the door?" Toph followed Katara very closely as she neared the door and shot out of the room the moment the door had opened. This, in turn caused the person… _the _person… on the other side of the door to stumble forward and step right into Katara.

The girl looked up from the dark red fabric that had attacked her face, and only then noticed that there were two hands on her back. (And that her own hands were resting against the boy's chest. Her face blushed about as red as Zuko's shirt. "Sorry," they both murmured at the same time. Katara pushed off of him gently, not wanting him to even be there. "Listen, Zuko. I'm not feeling too well right now, so maybe you should go."

"Hey, I just wanted..."

"Please, I really don't feel well," Katara begged,rubbing her arm quietly.

"Are you alright?" Zuko knew he sounded a little too worried, but really didn't care.

"I'm fine, really, but I just want to lie down for a spell until we leave, so..."

"Oh, alright. Feel better," he said, his golden eyes shining with what turned out to be tears that just wouldn't fall. The door was almost closed when Katara lifted a pillow to her face and screamed. Almost closed. But he could still see. And it just made everything even more clear. She still couldn't stand him.

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Katara stood on the beach, waves lapping at her ankles. Never in her life had she felt this exposed. Her bending clothes felt unnatural against her thighs. Her long legs shook as the warm air brushed over them. "So, Blue," a voice started. Katara turned her head to the side to see Zuko standing beside her. "Feeling better?" He asked with a smirk to emphasize the word 'better'. Even though she wanted to just walk away from him- having seen him and his girlfriend having a make-out-athon, she couldn't tear her eyes away. Despite the smirk, there was sincerity in Zuko's eyes.

"Much," Katara answered tersely. She moved her foot forward in the sand, stepping deeper into the water. The sand was very soft, and almost as white as the single cloud above them. As the girl looked away from the sand and up at the water, a hand came to her forearm. "Whats wrong?" She asked, her eyes flickering up to his gold ones.

"I just realized something..." Zuko started, as if he had forgotten something. Katara's eyes widened in anticipation. "I'm on vacation... wow, this is nice."

The water kept swishing over her knees. Swallowing anger was hard, but pain, even harder. She had been foolish, childish, to think that he was actually going to tell her... But She forced a smile and gave him a little shove. "Shut up, Red." Quickly, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the water. Beneath the surface was a whole other world; pink corals and yellow sponges sat stationary on the sand, while fish and little baby turtles swam around seaweed. Katara smiled at Zuko, who, she realized, was still holding on to her hand. She looked up to the surface and Zuko nodded, he needed some air himself. Both of them surfaced at the same time, bobbing up and down in the waves like human buoys. "What do you think?" The girl asked quietly. "this is my element, my world. Everything is so intricately woven together, and everything depends on everything else. I've heard that if you find a baby sea turtle, scoop it up, kiss it and set it free, you deepest wish will come true. Its only a myth though," she added with a blush.

"Somethings are worth trying." With a little smile on his face, he scooped up one of the brilliantly green turtles. It continued to swim around in his cupped hands, never really getting anywhere before turning around. "Do you want to give it a try?" He asked extending his hands to Katara. With a little red on her face, she kissed the little animal, bumping her chin off the Firelord's hand. Zuko followed suit, and then he and Katara let the turtle go together. "So, what did you wish for, Blue?"

"Things to be right."

"Really?"

"I know, its corny..."

"No, its just that-"

"HEY LOVEBIRDS!" Toph yelled. "QUIT YOUR FLIRTING AND GET BACK HERE! WE NEED SPARKEY TO START THE FIRE!" Though they both knew she was kidding, they couldn't help but blush. How had it looked? Them standing, hands seemingly clasped, waist deep in the ocean. "THAT WAS A JOKE! BUT WE REALLY DO NEED SPARKEY TO GET THE FIRE GOING..." With a chuckle of relief they both looked at each other. _ **Do it!** He's with Mai!_

_**Kiss her!** She has someone else!_

_**Kiss him!**_

_**Kiss her!**_

_**Just do it!**_

_**You have nothing to loose! Quit being a chicken and kiss her! **_Barely moving, they leaned to one another. Ever so slightly, they were closer. It was... _nice_.

"HELLOOOO!" Toph yelled again. "SPARKEY, GET YOUR ROYAL ASS OVER HERE AND LIGHT THE FIRE!"

Quickly the two pulled away from one another, only now aware of what they had almost done. As Katara came out of the water Toph whispered "I just saved your ass from kissisng him in front of everyone!" The older girl nodded and continued past, suddenly greatful.

The roaring of waves crashing onto the shore was drounded out by chatter and laughter. Katara was the only one who sat silent. She had seen him kiss another woman, then why did she still want him to kiss her. It wasn't a jealousy thing- but deep down she wanted to believe that they were through. But she couldn't. There was a complexity about him that simply intriuged her. The fact that he needed more that a kiss to make him smile, the fact that he didn't even need the kiss itself was desirable. All you had to do was listen and be willing to learn and care about what he was saying. You just had to want more than... Katara shivered. How could women do that? See a perfectly good man and think only about sex. He desereved more than that. He deserved someone who cared. He deserved _her_.

* * *

**DAMN! So close! But gotta give Toph some slack, she was just trying to help. Oh, sorry for the Maikoness. I do NOT support that relationshit at all! And it is a relationSHIT!! Sorry to all the Maikoians who still support Zutara... I just don't like the couple. Anyway!! What did you think? My fav part was the baby turtle thing! I don't know why, but it was fun! Sorry about the title, it was a lil misleading.. but thats the way (uh huh uh huh!) I like it! Muahaha! Oh and the title will be coming up soon... use your imagination! I can probably tell you that your mind is in the wrong place! Oh well! ZUtara... any kind of Zutara is awesome! unless its anti zutara. then it sux. :3  
**

**~She poe.  
**


	8. Best Days of Your Life

**Okay, new Deal. See, I want you to go onto and find a song called Best Days Of Your Life by Kellie Pickler. When You see the ***PLAY SONG*** Click the play button and listen while you read. I'll try to time everything right.**

Chapter?

Best Days of Your Life

A warm summer breeze flowed over the veranda, blowing the salty sent of the ocean in Mai's face. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest, a deviant smirk pricking the side of her mouth. She spent the night pondering and planning. It was simple enough, she thought, to trick a water tribe simpleton and her friends. And, besides, if she couldn't have Zuko, then no one could.

.....................................................

In a cold sweat, Katara sat up in bed. The horrors that had danced through her head made her heart palpitate. The glass door to the balcony revealed that it was still dark out. A sliver of moon peeked in though the door making her think of Yue. It was like her to check up on people. That's the kind of princess she was; always making sure everyone had what they needed. Always 'just checking'. Katara pushed the covers from her and swung her legs off the bed. Her bare feet plodded over the carpet and onto the wooden balcony.

Her blue eyes marveled at the blackened sea below her and its glittering sister sea above. Waves crashed rhythmically against the shore as Katara lifted her leg over the wide railing of the balcony. Hugging the column at the corner, she swung her other leg over, closing her eyes against the wind and stretching her arms above her head.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" A deep voice asked.

Startled, Katara opened her eyes. Nearly losing her balance, she teetered dangerously on the railing. She gasped as her hands scraped for the column. A fear came over her; she felt a sensation of falling. Then, SMACK! her head smacked off of something hard. Almost through a mist she heard her name being called. Then there was a loud boom of a door hitting a wall, and then a thump as someone knelt beside her. She opened her eyes and blinked away the blurriness. There was a man kneeling over her, a frightened look on his face. "I... didn't mean to frighten you," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, well, at least I fell onto the deck instead of over it," Katara put her hand on her head as she sat up with Zuko's hand spread on her back.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm good. My head hurts, but, I've been through worse." A smile spread over her lips as she slowly turned her head toward him.

"You really gave me a scare. But, as you said, its better you fell this way than the other." He smiled himself now, laughing slightly. In that moment, Katara was reminded of how contagious his laugh was; and soon she found herself chuckling as well.

"Oh, wow. Do you know how awkward this looks? I-I mean to say, if my brother or Aang were to come see what all the noise was about, they would find you and me in our night clothes on the balcony off my bedroom."

Zuko pulled his hand away from her and blushed in the dark. "At least let me help you inside," he insisted quietly, rising to his feet. Katara grasped his outstretched hand and got to her feet. He led her inside. Quietly she blushed, thinking about how things would look if her brother came in at the moment that Zuko was pulling the blankets over her legs.

"Thank you," she muttered in a soft voice. Zuko closed the door behind him and within moments Katara was thinking about him. What thoughts must have been going through his head for him to run to her aid? Was it guilt? Worry, no doubt. There was something she caught in his eyes when she had opened hers. Joy, perhaps? Relief? Nonetheless, she was sure that something deeper had occurred within him to make him help her into bed. Her cheeks reddened as she thought about how gently he had pulled the comforter over her bare legs and let it fall onto the blue silk night dress gathered above her knees. For a moment she had remembered the times when they had been forced to sleep in the same bed. How awkward it seemed now. How... scandalous, for the Prince of the Firenation to be -quite literally- sleeping with a waterbending princess. Back then, to each other they were just Zuko and Katara. Even if the world saw them as a prince and a princess of opposing countries and bending abilities, they were simply two friends who had found a little more in the other than just a title.

With a drifting mind, Katara slowly fell asleep with thoughts of a boy, who was now a man, and a girl, who was now a woman, and how they had loved each other, and how they had been separated.

**********

The next day Mai came by the house again. A twisted grin feigned on her powdered lips. She had told Suki that she wanted to speak with Zuko about something absolutely crucial. She found him on the porch in the back, staring absently at the dirt. "Zuko," she said her voice low. His head spun around and for a second he looked at her confused. "Listen, I'm not here to start anything," she said with a vehement movement of her arm. A silver ring flew out of her sleeve and landed with a thunk on the porch. "Oh, crap. Can you grab that for me?" Mai motioned to the ring that lay at Zuko's boot.

Without a word, he knelt down and handed her the ring. She accepted it with a smile and explained; "It was my grandmother's ring. You know I'm not normally a sentimental person, but she recently died. And we were very close." Tears came to her eyes and her emotionless face twisted in a sob.

"Mai, I'm so sorry." Zuko stood up and Mai immediately wrapped her arms around him.

"Thanks for the support, Zuko." Head held high in success, the dark girl walked off of the porch and into the living room. She gave Katara- who had seen everything through the slats in a window blind- a smug look. "Suki," she said (uncharacteristically) with excitement in her voice. Running away from Katara, she pulled Suki to the side and said only loud enough for Katara to hear; "Zuko just proposed to me."

"Did you say yes?" Suki asked.

"Of course."

"When?"

"Ha, by the end of the summer."

"That's wonderful."

"Well, I ought to go spread the news." Mai skipped to the door and closed it with a bang behind her. Once out of earshot to the house she began to laugh wickedly.

***********

Katara flopped down on the couch. Now she wished that she had accepted Toph's invitation to go shopping with her and Aang. How could Zuko have done something like that? He had put her in bed... thus leading her to believe that he had feelings for her. No more than seven hours later he asked another girl to marry him. It wasn't just one of Mai's lies either. She had seen it with her own eyes.

"What's wrong, Katara?" Suki asked, sitting down beside her.

"Nothing."

"I know that's not a 'Nothing' look on your face. You are one of my best friends, I think I know when something's up."

Katara sighed. "It's just that… boys are so… augh! One minute it's this way and the next it's another. You know?"

"Trust me; if a guy pulls shit like that, he is not worth your time."

"Tell me about it." Katara propped up her head on her wrist and looked through the window. Zuko had his back toward her. _I'll show him_. She thought. "I'm going to go practice my bending."

"Kay."

*****PLAY SONG*****

***********

"Spar with me." Katara challenged Zuko with a punch in the shoulder. She ran lightly off the porch, tying her hair away from her face. "What? Are you afraid or something, oh great Fire Lord?" She faked a bow. Zuko flashed a smile and laughed.

"In your dreams, Blue." He came down the steps and shed his outer robe. His hand illuminated with fire as he came closer to Katara. In turn, Katara bent some water from the water skin tied to her hip. "I could beat you with my hands tied behind my back." Zuko taunted.

"Now look whose dreaming." Katara laughed. Water streamed around her like a waving shield as Zuko neared her. He blasted fire from his hands. The water hissed and turned quickly to steam under the fire. Drawing the water toward her, Katara turned it to ice and flung it at Zuko, real anger behind her eyes. The ice liquefied when it make contact with the new fire that Zuko had thrown into them. Bending the water from the ground, Katara again threw ice at Zuko, stepping closer each time. Eventually they were fighting hand to hand without bending. Katara jumped out of the way as Zuko threw a punch into her ribs. The piece of cloth in her hair came untied and fell to the ground. Letting her anger out she kicked the man in the stomach-perhaps a little too hard- and they both fell to the ground. There they fought each other for dominance.

"Told you I'd beat you!" Zuko said into Katara's angry face.

"Oh, get off!" She yelled pushing him away from her. He rolled onto his back beside her. They both tried to catch their breath. Katara sat up on her elbows and breathed heavily. "You don't know how long it's been since I've sparred with someone."

"Same here," Zuko replied, sitting up as well. "You're pretty good." He stared at the grass while he spoke.

"I'm a bit rusty, I have to admit. But thanks. You're not half bad yourself, Red."

"Hey," Zuko started, throwing a fistful of grass into Katara's long hair.

Combing the grass from her hair, Katara looked toward him. "Hm?"

"If I'm Red, and you're Blue, what would that make Mai?"

"Black. Dull… blasé? Grey, maybe?"

Zuko laughed loudly. "That's for sure." His eyes followed her hands; they gracefully flowed through her hair. He saw her blue eyes fall on him; a light in them turned on and before he knew it he had a face full of grass. "Hey!" He laughed again.

"What?" Another fistful of grass was thrown at him. Within minutes they were lost in a cloud of green; pinning each other to the ground and throwing more grass on them. Katara's bubbly laugh danced through the air. "I win!" She laughed, with her knee on his chest.

"No fair!" he cried, shoving her knee off of him.

"I missed this," Katara said quietly, lying beside him in the grass.

With a sad smile he nodded. "Yeah, me too."

"I remember when we used to spar everyday."

"Those were the days." Both he and Katara sat up. A few blades of grass still hung in her hair; gently, he brushed them away.

With a smile she thanked him. "No, the days were when you had your ponytail."

"It was the style!" Zuko defended.

With a snort Katara fell onto her back again, her legs kicking the air wildly. "Oh, yeah... the 'style'. That's it! Hahahahaahahaha!"

"Oh, shut up!"

katara forced herself to sit upright. She moved a little closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on Zuzu. You know I--"

"Hey, Katara!" Both of their heads spun to see Sokka standing in the doorway. "Come inside, there's a letter from home."

"Gotta go." From his place on the ground, Zuko watched Katara stroll over to the porch and dance up the stairs, briefly looking over her shoulder as she closed the door.

Zuko fell back onto the ground and wiped his hands over his face. "Dude, what is wrong with you?" He asked himself, trying to push away all the emotions that had almost came out.

************************************************************************************************

**OKAY!**

**I know you think that this is the chapter that the title comes from, but… ITS NOT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't worry in the next few chapters it will come into play. Mai is such a BIATCH, is she not? Sigh. READ ON MY FELLOW ZUTARIANS!**

**~She Poe**


	9. Barriers

_don't worry kids, its all PG13!_

_K, play song when you see PLAY NOW!_

**Chapter 9**

Barriers (David Archuleta **3**)

"What does it say, Sokka?" Katara asked excitedly, leaning over her brother's shoulder.

Sokka glanced at her angrily, as if to say, "Okay, you're cramping my style, little sister." A little frown on his lips he turned back to the parchment and read aloud in a mock-Gran Gran voice:

"'Dear Katara and Sokka,

I hope you kids are having a good time. Enjoy the sun, once you come back home it'll be back to twenty below zero and bundles of clothes. Your father wants me to let you know he says hello and he loves you. Well dears, I have to say adieu for now. I'll write again when I get the chance. P.S. Katara,' You know.. I'm not gonna read that...

'Love, Gran Gran.'"

"Thats nice of your grandmother to send you a letter," Suki said, looking at Sokka from across the table. Her brown eyes were fixed on his blue ones firmly. Had Zuko's proposal to Mai made her rethink her own relationship? "I'll be outside." Pushing in her chair, she kissed him before leaving the room. In a strange silence everyone just looked at each other. Finally, Katara nudged her brother's back in in effort to make him go after his girlfriend. He shot her another angered glance, and pushed his chair away from the table, following Suki onto the porch.

Katara could hear little bits of their conversation, all of which were loud and defensive. "Wow," she observed quietly. "They're really having it out this time." Toph's blind eyes slid to her from her spot beside Aang. "What?" Katara asked, putting her hands on her hips. Toph subtley motioned toward the doorframe where Zuko stood quietly, his eyes fixed on the floor. Something tugged on Katara's heart strings painfully, drawing her to him. "Are you alright, Zuko?" Katara leaned against the other side of the doorframe, her heart pounding for a reason unknown to her. She studied his face carefully while she waited for him to answer. Minutes passed without words. Finally, Zuko smiled.

"I'm fine, Blue. I was just thinking about Uncle."

"Is he not well?" Reaching out to him, she realized she was still in her bending clothes, and suddenly felt very exposed. Her mind whirled at the fact that she still felt attracted to this man, and yet, was embarassed so easily around him.

"He's fine, I just miss him. I know its childish, but-"

Katara interrupted him sharply. "You're hardly childish, Red."

***************

Later that evening, Toph, Aang, Katara, and Zuko decided to go down to the beach to give Sokka and Suki some alone time. The sky was painted a milky pink by the time they settled down in the sand. Zuko started a fire as Aang gathered some wood and the girls laid the towls down on the sand, two on either side of the firepit. As the sun sank into the water, Toph poked Aang's ribs quickly and whispered something to him. He nodded and stood up, Toph following suit. Then they headed for the waves, Toph winking at Katara slyly.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Katara asked Zuko, who had been laying on his towel gazing up at the stars since the two younger kids left. The fire danced over him as he breathed in deeply. Gathering her hair over her shoulder, Katara laid down beside him on her own towel. "There are so many..." She started airily, staring at the stars.

"That one," Zuko pointed. "Is the Great Panda. And that one is the Sozen's Star, legend says that Sozen got angry one day and burned a hole in the sky. Sozen's star."

"Whats that one?" Katara asked, pointing to a round-ish group of stars.

"Yin and Yang," quietly, Zuko turned his head to look at her. "You know, opposites-"

"Attract... Yeah, I know." Katara kept her eyes glued to the sky, but her cheeks were dusted with pink. The memories that plauged her suddenly came back, reddening her face even more. An awkward silence fell over them as they star gazed. The lights in the sky blurred together, and one constellation came clear through the haze. "That one?" She asked, raising her arm toward a curving line of stars. Through squinted eyes she glanced toward him, watching his face scrunch and unscrunch as he tried to remember.

"That's the Lovers' Lily."

Katara sighed, still looking at the sky. Lily, she thought, would be a pretty name for a baby girl. "...Baby girl..." she whispered dryly, letting her eyes wander to the fire. The sound of the ocean rang through her ears. In his presence, she felt a certain calmness that she never felt anywhere else. Suddenly, her eyelids felt heavy, and she let herself fall into a light unconsisousness.

Zuko felt himself smile as he looked at her. "Beautiful," he muttered, not thinking. Katara's blue eyes flicked open quickly as she sat up on her elbows. "The name Lily. It would be perfect for a little girl." A laugh fell from Katara's mouth. The girl threw her head back lightly, her dark brown hair flying out behind her. She could feel his gold eyes lingering on her hesitantly, washing over her like warm, shimmering water. "What?"

"I was just thinking the same thing." Without thinking, she added, "Do you want a daughter?" Zuko's face changed. He was no longer having fun, but he was dreadfully serious. He sat up, running a hand through his black hair thoughtfully.

"I've always wanted a daughter," he said, eyes on the water.

"Me too," Katara breathed. "Zuko?" He turned to her, meeting her eyes for the first time. "Are you sure you did the right thing... with Mai I mean?"

"Absolutely."

Katara's looked quickly away from him. "Oh." Sitting up, she pulled her knees up and hugged them to her chest. She pretended to look out at the water, but it was nearly impossible to tell the difference between the waves and the sky. Closing her eyes calmly, she reseted her head on her knees. In her mind she saw a bright flash of lightnening, heard him scream no... She opened her eyes and looked over to him. For the first time since it happened, she noticed the scar on his chest. "I don't think I asked you yet- How have you been since... you know?"

"I'm still breathing." Zuko said, exhaling loudly.

"But for a minute you weren't. Do you know how bad you scared me? I thought you'd be gone forever." Katara's voice came quiet and cold. Everyday she had relived that moment; when she knelt beside him and he didn't breathe. "I always thought... what if... What if I couldn't have helped you. What if I had come a minute too late."

"But you didn't. You did great, Blue," he assured her, lightly resting a hand on her shoulder. "And I can't thank you enough for it."

"You've thanked me more than was needed. We were friends..." She felt like she was in a daze; his voice sounded far off, and her own echoed loudly in her head. The scene beofre her was blurred, like she was seeing it all through a cloud. The sound of Toph and Aang laughing with each other came to her ears.

"If I remember, we were more than friends." He felt Katara's body tense for a second. "But, that was a long time ago."

"Yeah. Do you ever miss those days? When we were younger, I mean. Flying around on Appa, we hated each other, Aang had that silly little crush on me and you... well you kept trying to prove yourself to us."

"I was trying to prove myself to you." Zuko said, taking his hand away from her shoulder. "And you know I didn't hate you."

Katara gave it a few seconds to sink in before rapidly changing the subject. "Do you wanna go for a swim?" Zuko laughed quietly then stood up, pulling her up with him. They unofficially raced into the water, diving under waves. There was something different about the ocean at night; it was warmer and, dare Katara think, more romantic. She and the young firelord swam together, bobbing in and out of the water. They came to the surface, laughing like children. Then suddenly, Zuko pulled Katara under; a curt squeal escaped from her lips before they submerged. She opened her eyes under the water and found his golded eyes staring back, like two bioluminescent orbs. He was smiling at her, so she returned the smile kindly, enjoying the fact that he was still holding her against him. After a while, she motioned up to the surface of the water, and they swam back up. "Oh, your highness, what ever will your people think... trying to drown a waterbending master?" Katara asked jokingly, still holding on to him.

"I should think they would be angry with me for failing." They both laughed, realizing after that they still clung to each other. "But, I don't think they would believe that I would even try to harm a Watertribe Princess. Especially when she also happens to be a master waterbender."

"Most days I don't even feel like a princess," Katara admitted, her arms lazily around Zuko's neck.

"Why's that?" He asked with genuine concern.

"When you think of princesses you think of princesses, what comes to mind?"

"A girl who is willing to give up everything to protect her country. Someone who is selfless and puts others before herself. A girl whose beauty is surmounted only by the beauty of her heart. Come to think of it... you." He saw Katara blush through the dark. She pushed away from him and floated on her own for a while, her back turned to him. "How's your head? Since this morning?"

"Fine. I'm fine." The water splashed around her dizzyingly, making her head spin.

"You don't seem yourself, Blue. Honestly, I'm worried about you." He came up behind her, placing his hand on her side under the water. To his suprise, she didn't move away, or even flinch, the way he thought she would. She just floated there, even as he came closer, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Tell me what's wrong," he said quietly. "Please."

"Three years can change a person. Three years can change a relationship... make it stronger... destroy it. I really did just miss you... Zuko. For three years I- I would stay awake, just lookingat the fire burning in the fireplace and thinking of you. And I'd think of seeing you again. And when I heard you were going to be her I was so excited. And I thought... well... I was wrong." With that, she dove under the water, and swam angrily back to shore. Someone, somewhere far off called her name. They begged her to come back, to talk to them. But Katara ignored the voice that rang in her ears and stormed angrily back to the beach house where she locked herself in her room and fell asleep, the candle on her night stand still burning.

Woah! Talk a bout dialouge! Sorry, I wasn't feeling descriptive. Christmas blues. :p

Oh, what next? Hm, we return to the beach. At night. Can you say Zutara??

~She Poe


	10. Gotta be Somebody

**Chapter 10**

(Gotta be Somebody)

What's wrong with her? The question kept pulling at the edge of Zuko's mind, making sleep impossible. He lay awake in his bed for hours, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out what he had done. She was constantly changing her mind: she would be playful and completely comfortable with him, her happiness making him want to kiss her. Then, no more than a few hours later, she would be completely closed, shunning everything he said. IIt all started, he decided, when she mentioned Mai. Mai had stopped by earlier, just before they fought in the grass and that had been a good thing. But when she asked him if he did the right thing... she did mean that they broke up, right? Thats the only thing that the Firelord could think of. why had that made her upset?

When he realized that he was not going to drift off to sleep, Zuko sat up in bed and looked to the door to the balcony. Standing up quickly, he plodded across the room and stepped onto the balcony. The air was heavy with humidity. For some reason, he had always been able to think better out doors. Ribbons of thought glided through his mind as he tried to remember anything that would have caused such hostility from Katara. What perplexed him the most was the fact that she had let him touch her the way he did. If she was truly angry with him, she would have pushed him away, the way she used to when she was fourteen. Zuko leaned on the railing and stared out over the island. "Why?" he asked aloud, resting his face in his palms.

"Because," a silky voice cut in.

"Katara," Zuko started, looking up at her. "Please, tell me whats going on. Between you and I. What's happening?"

Katara laughed, her hands placed lightly in one of the rose bushes. She plucked one carefully, the thorns still drawing blood from the tips of her fingers and brought it to her face. Zuko cringed at the sight of her blood, not liking to think of her in pain. "Nothing, Zuko. Thats just it. There is nothing between us. And, just to let you know; I thought it over and," she lied. "I'm alright with being friends. But.. you'll always be my best friend and I'll always love you. No matter how far apart we are."

"I want to be the kind of 'friend' that you would tell anything to, Katara. The one that you can depend on, the one that you could just be yourself with. Katara, I want to be the one that--"

"You already are. You always have been," she smiled lightly at him.

"Do you want to go down to the beach? Try again? Start over." Zuko asked carefully, eying her face. Again she smiled, then nodded. He watched as she turned and went inside the house again, a small smile breaking over his lips. Here we go again, he thought, almost laughing to himself.

They didn't take anything with them, other than a few towels and a few pieces of dried drift wood from the stash beside the fireplace. Careful not to wake anybody up, they crept out of the house silently. As soon as they were out side, they began laughing hysterically, all the way down to the beach. "I feel like Oma..." Katara laughed, "You know, the sneaking around."

"The cave of two lovers. Do you remember when... I guess you would." Zuko carried the drift wood to the fire pit and lit it easily. "You know that was the day when I started thinking about about you as more than just a girl."

"Yeah, but, we're friends. We're friends now, so apparently it wasn't meant to be. But, at times, our relationship as friends before was really awkward. Like the whole, 'Get off me!' thing. Do you remember that?" Katara laughed as she sat the blankets down *towels, blankets, whatever!* in the sand.

"At the Western Air Temple? That was just before we went to find Yan Ra. I owed you something; without you, I would never have found my mother."

"Have you heard from her lately?" Katara asked,stretching her arms abover her head before plopping down on the blanket. Zuko sat down beside her.

"I get a letter from her every couple weeks. But she refuses to come home. She's too afraid," he glanced at her sadly. "But at least I know that she's alright."

"That makes me feel good too. She wrote to me, just after my sixteenth birthday... did- did you tell her when my birthday was?" Katara shifted a little, the blanket under them folding under her. As he laughed, Katara saw the light of the moon reflecting in his eyes. She found herself smiling back at him, pulling her thin robe around her tightly. They started talking about the stars again; both of them laying down beside each other and scanning the sky. "Giant panda, right?"

"Great Panda," Zuko corrected lightly. "That one beside it is the Dragon's Fire."

"Where?" Katara asked, tilting her head.

"There," Zuko pointed upwards.

"I still don't see it!"

"Come here," Zuko said.

Katara rested her head on his chest lightly, trying to push away all the feelings flooding into her. They were friends, she told herself, and thats all they could ever be. "Oh, I see now. Okay, so earlier we stargazed, then we went swimming. Wanna go swimming?"

"I'm comfortable here," Zuko said, smiling at her. He felt her lay a hand on the scar on his chest. She ran her fingers over it carefully, remembering again. Her hand moved with the tide subconsciously as she stroked his skin. "Are you alright? Tell me what's bothering you."

"This is going to sound hypocritical and stupid," Katara started, her hand coming to a stop. "And I know that less than twenty minutes ago, I said I was alright with being friends. But, Zuko, I want you to change your mind about Mai."

"I don't want to change my mind." Zuko took her hand, her blue eyes flickered up to his gold ones. "I know how I feel about her, and I know how I feel about you. Its been the same way for three years now. And, I'm sorry if I'm being blunt, but, I don't think you can change it."

"I can try," Katara whispered half to herself. She tilted her head up towards his ear and quietly breathed; "Close your eyes." Zuko did as he was told. Katara lightly lifted herself from him, slipping her hand away from his. Breathing shallowly and swallowing against nervousness, she leaned over him, her long brown hair brushing over his shoulders. Slowly, she bent down to him, hesitating momentarily just before kissing his lips. She heard him inhale sharply, then felt his hand on the side of her face. Zuko sat up, still holding her face in his hands. Katara wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer. Her eyes opened in shock as he deepened the kiss, but returned the gesture, pressing tightly to him. A tear slid down her face as she closed her eyes again, welcoming his embrace. She could feel how warm he got when she kissed him, his lips almost burned against hers. Once she got past the warmth, she could feel his heart beating rapidly. It frightened her how similar the beat was to her own, which she could feel pulsing through her head. All the air in her lungs turned to fire, and it burned so badly that she separated for a moment and just looked into his eyes. A thin smile graced his lips as he leaned toward her again, kissing her mouth. Katara pulled away from him, breathing heavily. She felt his hand against the skin on her cheek, lingering on the scar that she had forgotten about until now.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his own breath coming short as he remembered her sitting by the water with her face in her hands.

"Please, don't be." Katara let him kiss her again, his lips brushing over her scar carefully. Then, to her own surprise, she allowed him to lay her down on the blanket. "I told you you weren't childish," she muttered between kisses. He pressed his lips to her face and neck lightly before pulling back her robe. And Katara let it happen, she didn't fight it; she didn't want to.

* * *

Toph sat up on the floor of her room. "OH HELL NO!" she squeaked. "Holy shit! Okay! don't need those vibrations... nope! Nope!" Leaping from the floor, she scurried into her bed. "The first time in years that I sleep in a bed... and its because of YOU TWO!" Toph rubbed her hands over her face, her blind eyes now wide open. "Thats a lovely way to wake up." Oh well, at least now the vibrations were muffled beyond recognition and she could get a little sleep.

Oh who was she kidding? There was no way she was going to sleep with that image in her mind. Just knowing that Zuko and Katara were... "I will never be able to sleep again."

* * *

Zuko's eyes opened just as the sun was peeking over the water. "Shit!" he hissed, sitting up. He touched Katara's shoulder lightly. "Katara, its sun up, we have to go." Suddenly awake, Katara pulled on her robe and grabbed the blankets from the sand.

"Hurry!" she chided, sprinting to the beach house. They came onto the front porch quietly, sneaking one more kiss before tip toeing into the house.

Later that morning, after everybody crawled into the living room, Toph pulled Katara aside. "Katara, what were you thinking?"

Katara rolled her blue eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're lying. Queenie... I can feel your glowyness."

"You felt our vibrations!? Toph! That is a total invasion of privacy!"

From somewhere, Suki jumped into the conversation. "Katara... you... and... no way! Katara- you know he's- he and Mai are engaged."

At one point the night before, it had slipped her mind. Now, it came crashing back onto her head like a roof collapsing in and Katara broke down into tears. Her knees hit the floor loudly as she held her stomach in her arms. She sat on the floor of the kitchen, crying her eyes out like a child. "Katara, what's wrong?" Zuko asked coming to his knees beside her. He took her wet face in his hands and looked her in the eyes carefully.

"Please just go away. Please." Before leaving her, he kissed her forehead.

"What did you do to my little sister?" Sokka asked angrily as Zuko walked away from her.

"She made the first move, Sokka. And I didn't touch her until she made a move on me." Zuko's voice was level and calm. Sokka's face didn't stay angry, it relaxed, and maybe even saddened a bit. He looked through the door at his sister, then back at Zuko in front of him, and simply nodded. "Thank you, Sokka."

* * *

"Woah woah woah... Suki... en-what?" Toph asked quietly, her milky green eyes flicking up to the girl's face.

"I-I knew he was engaged. But, you guys, he can't marry her. If he does- I'll die inside. Even ask Sokka. I haven't slept a whole night through in three years until we came here and I saw him again. I need him, Toph, Suki... I can't explain it... I just do. I'm so ashamed of myself." Katara wiped her sleeves over her eyes and face, trying to dry them, but succeeding only in rubbing them raw. It hadn't been until now that she had thought of the possible consequences of what they had done. "I wasn't even thinking... I just... wanted him to know how much I loved him. Oh, god. My father-" what would her father think? He would be extremely disappointed at her for breaking the tribe's customs. But of course, it had been perfectly acceptable for Sokka to- No. She decided. I will not compare myself to my brother. Besides, being only seventeen, she wasn't yet allowed (By tribal tradition) to have more advanced relationships with a man without becoming his wife first. There would be only one way for her to be excused of her behavior, and that, she knew, would never happen.

"No one here is going to judge you two," Toph assured her, helping her to her. "Go be with your King, Queenie."

"Hey..."

"Yes, Queenie. I knew from the beginning that you two liked eachother. I mean, from the beginning- like before you even admitted it to yourselves. Katara, I showed him the waterfall." A smirk pricked on the corner of the blind girl's mouth. She must have sensed Katara's shock.

Katara's mind flashed back: the waterfall, the burn, the prison cart, Zuko's mother, the kiss. It had all been Toph's doing, and because of it, Katara had found the one she truely loved. "Did I ever tell you how much I sister love you?" Katara asked, hugging her tightly. She nodded lightly, then pointed to the door. Toph watched with her feet as Katara stood in front of Zuko, her arms crossed over her stomach; she wrapped her arms around him, burrying her face into his shoulder. 'Yep,' Toph thought to herself.

* * *

WO-OAH! Who saw that one coming? Guess what... I didn't either! This was meant to be later- but, I want to build up the whole Zuzu is(NOT) engaged to evil she witch. Pay close attention... Is brought up Hakoda for a reason. Can you figure out why? 100 points to whoever guesses. Lol!

~She Poe


	11. Call Your Name

Okay, if anyone else has any idea of what Hakoda was brought up for, let me know in the review for this chapter cuz, he's only a chapter or two away.

Special thanks to: _KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun _For their awesome character, Mishu, that joins our story in this chapter. So... THANKS!

AND I think I found THE song for this entire story line. its September by Daughtry, the same people that sing the song for this chappie!

**Chapter 11**

_(Call Your Name)_

They had been on Ember Island for almost two weeks now. Mai had been staying with Lo and Li, only a few minutes walk to the royal family's beach house. She had seen everything; including Zuko and his 'waterbending skank' sneak out late one night. At this she only smiled. "The happier she gets," Mai said to herself. "The more she will shatter." In truth, it did hurt her that he had said no to her everytime, and yet had the audacity to say yes to Katara the first time she wanted to. It wasn't fair, she thought, but Katara would get hers in time.

_***&*&*&***_

Zuko looked at Katara differently now. The way she glanced over her shoulder at him, a minuscule smirk on her lips; she had changed since that night. Their relationship was a complicated one. They didn't talk about what had happened, and they didn't become the kind of clingy lovers like some would have. Infact, they did little more than sit next to each other and share quiet glances. Aang had taken things rather easily, had this happened three or four years ago, he wouldn't have been able to handle the fact that Katara had loved someone else. He had grown up since then, though. His silly little crush on Katara had quickly faded when he and Toph got to know each other better. Katara was happy when she would catch them sneaking a kiss from the corner of her eye.

Around noon Mai came to the house, kindly inviting the group to lunch with her and a friend. After convincing everyone to say yes, she escorted them to a small teashop in the middle of town. "So, who are we meeting again?" Sokka asked, looking around for someone he knew.

"Uh, Zuko knows her. Mishu. You remember, don't you, Zuko?" Mai asked, turning to him carelessly.

"Yeah, we used to train together. Her dad was one of Ozai's best generals," Zuko explained to everyone else. "She was my best friend, until her father was killed. I haven't seen her since. And that was before I was banished."

"She and her mother have been looking for family. I bumped into her a little while ago, she looked like she could use a hand, so I told her about Lo and Li's place. They've been staying there for a few weeks. I came to visit them and heard that you were here. I've been trying to tell you about them for a week now. But..." her eyes wandered to Zuko. "...Other things have come up." Katara kept a straight face, but it was difficult. Guilt and anger built inside her, making her curl her hands into fists to stop from speaking up. They entered the shop, everyone looking around for Mishu. "There she is," Mai said, pointing to a lonely looking girl sitting at a table. Apparently hearing Mai's voice, the girl looked up and waved.

"Hey, Mai. Uh, you didn't tell me you were bringing friends," Mishu said, nervously trying to smooth her long black hair. Her eyes darted around the group of people in front of her. A smile spread over her face. "Long time no see, Zuko! Why don't you guys sit down, I'm sure it'll be nice to meet all of you."

"Actually Mishu, I wanted to speak with Katara alone for a moment, so we'll join you shortly." Mai pulled Katara aside, just out of earshot of (or earshot to? Never understood that.) the table. "Zuko and I have been dating now for- three years. And he told me about your brief relationship. But there is something he didn't tell me, and I really need to know. Has he gotten you in bed?"

"No," Katara said truthfully. He had gotten her in sand.

"Thanks. Because he propsed to me, as I'm sure he's told you. And I wanted our wedding night to be special."

"Uh, Mai. We- uh- we have shared a night. Rather recently."

"Oh. Well, its no matter. Im sure it meant little to either one of you. I mean, Zuko and I have shared a bed multiple times. He probably just needed some company because I wasn't around. I'm sorry if he made you think there was something between you two. Because he loves me, and he always has." She knew she had contradicted herself, but doubted that Katara had noticed.

"Good talking to you Mai," Katara responded icily, turning away from her to go back to the table. From where she stood, Mai admired her work. Katara's hands shook violently as she tried to sip her glass of water. Honestly, Mai was surprised with herself. Sure, she had lied before, but never about something like this. Quickly she rejoined the group, sitting between Zuko and Mishu.

"So, your names are...?" Mishu asked.

"I'm Sokka, that guy over there with the arrow is Avatar Aang, this is my lit--" he stopped and glanced quickly between his sister and Zuko. "This is my sister, Katara. That's Toph, she's an earthbender. And this lucky lady right here is my girlfriend, Suki!"

Mishu giggled quietly. "She must be very lucky, you're funny. Wonderful to meet all of you. So, I take it you and Suki are together, right Sokka?"

"Yep!"

"And Aang, you and Toph are together?"

"Sure are, Sweetheart," Toph exlaimed, taking hold of Aang's arm.

"And, Zuko... you and Katara, right?"

"No," Katara said coldly, sitting her cup down with a loud clang. "We aren't together." Then added partly to herself, "Anymore."

"Oh, I'm sorry if I hit a nerve. I didn't mean to create any sort of ..."

"Yeah? Well you did," Katara snapped. "I'm sorry. Excuse me, I just need to be alone for a while." She stood up and walked away from the table, her arms crossed angrily.

Staring blankly after her, Zuko stood up as well. "I'd better go talk to her."

"No!" Mai interjected violently. "I mean, she said she wants to be alone. Let her go." She wrapped her icy fingers around his wrist.

"You don't understand Mai." Zuko said, tearing away from her.

In one last desperate attempt to convince him to stay, she yelled; "I know you slept with her, Zuko!" He froze in place, looked over her shoulder, then stiffly continued on his way.

He found Katara just outside of the shop, looking out into the street. Shoulders jerking violently and head bent, the girl sobbed silently. "Blue..." he started, touching his hand to her arm.

She turned sharply to him, anger flaming in her eyes. "Don't call me that!" She spat. "Get away from me!" He could see her whole body shaking in rage. What had Mai done this time? Every time she came around, something bad happened. But, he admitted to himself, something good usually happened afterwards. "I want you to leave, Zuko. Leave now." her voice was a rough whisper, coming from between her clenched teeth.

"Katara, no. Not until you tell me what's wrong! I want to know so I can help you!"

"You can help me by leaving me alone!" Drawing in a deep breath and letting it out shakily, Katara pulled herself together. "Zuko, if you honestly don't know whats wrong with me, then I don't want your company at the moment. I need time to think about what happened and what Mai said and..."

"Wait, what did Mai say?" Zuko asked, grabbing Katara's arms lightly. Silently, she shook her head, unwilling to repeat what she had been told. Zuko whiped a hand over her face gently, but she smacked him away. "What is wrong with you?"

"YOU!"

Again, he watched as she ran away from him, sprinting through the street. Zuko thought it best not to chase after her; it might lead to another argument. Instead, he went back into the teashop and sat down at the table. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. What made her unhappy? Why couldn't he think straight when she was around? Why was she so moody? "Excuse me?" A small voice asked.

"What?" He retorted curtly. His eyes darted to the girl sitting across the table from him.

"I'm honestly sorry," Mishu said. "I had no idea. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, please, I beg for your forgiveness."

Zuko smiled. "You've changed a lot since we were kids, Mishu."

"So have you. I was wondering, should I be calling you Firelord Zuko now? Or is Zuko still okay?" Mishu lazily wrapped her jet black hair around her finger as she spoke.

"I'm still not used to Firelord Zuko. So, Zuko's perfectly fine."

"Alright. Then, Zuko, go after her! You idiot! Forgive me for being this forward with you, but, you have to go get her before she does something stupid! I've been around too many people who have hurt themselves because of love. And I won't let that happen to either one of you. Now go!" Mushi's face flushed an angry pink as she spoke. Beside her, Mai hissed. "You know what Mai, you really need to shut up! I sister love you just as much as I did when we were kids, but you really need to let this go!" She continued with violent gesticulations. His eyes being opened, Zuko made his way out of the teashop swiftly.

"I give you and your mother a place to live, I come by and visit you, and this is how you repay me?" Mai said, pushing her chair away from the table. "By chasing away my fiance!"

"Oh," Mishu replied soberly. "Oops."

_***&*&*&*&*&*&***_

So many thoughts were running through Katara's head. It was like swimming in an ocean, with each drop of water being another color. Thats exactly how overwhelming things were for her right now. What had happened on the beach that night had felt so right, like they belonged together. But now knowing that it probably only happened because the man she thought she loved just wanted to get into someone's pants made her want to vomit. She had loved him and trusted him and given her all to him. Now she learned that he had loved, trusted and given everything to someone else, namely Mai. And on multiple occasions too. It wasn't fair, Katara thought, hitting her fist angrily into the wall. For so many years now, she had been so careful with her heart; never letting anybody in, and never letting anyone out. She had promised herself that she would let go of him, and just as she was getting ready to, he came back into her life.

If she hadn't let go of him after three years apart- three years of him being in Mai's bed- Katara feared she never would. She knew that she couldn't let go of him even if he did marry another. Suddenly, Katara felt cold and small. Memories of the past came back to her quietly. She remembered all the times that she and Zuko had pushed each other and hit each other; the way they used to pretend to hate each other, just to protect their friends. The time he almost died for her was almost as fresh in her mind as the blood was on her hand. She hadn't even felt herself digging her fingernails into her palm. There was no point trying to heal it. Hell, she thought, there's no point to anything anymore! The one thing she held dearest was gone forever. The only man she had ever loved wasn't hers anymore. And the only people who could make her feel better were a thousand miles away, shivering against the cold while she sunbathed on the beach. And _now _she missed them desperately. What she wouldn't give to go home and hug her father and Gran Gran right now. "Stop crying!" Katara yelled at herself, resting her forehead on her bloody palms. "Just stop it! Face it, you idiot! He doesn't love you! He never has! He's always loved Mai! Always!" Hiccuping through tears she coughed; "I want my mother."

The heart works in funny ways. Sometimes, when you just want to be alone, is the time you wish you had someone to hold you near. And sometimes the person you swear you will never love, is the person your heart leaps for. And sometimes, that person is standing right in front of you and you're just too busy to see them. Zuko watched Katara cry. He just stood in the door way and watched her sob into her hands. He listened to her scream, his eyes tracing over her stunned. Thats when he saw a thin trail of blood slowly trickling down her arm. "You're bleeding," he whispered almost inaudibly.

"Oh, what do you care!" Katara cried, not looking at him.

"I don't like to see you hurt," Zuko replied calmly. He took a step inside her room, not wanting to make her feel too uncomfortable.

"How ironic."

"What?"

"She told the whole restaurant, Zuko! She told the whole restaurant that Firelord Zuko and Princess Katara slept together. Do you know what that'll be like? Having everybody know that? I won't ever be able to sleep soundly again, knowing that people are whispering about us." Katara turned further away from him, not wanting to see his face.

"Do you regret it? Sleeping with me I mean?" Zuko asked, his voice low and almost hurt. Though she couldn't see him, Katara was sure he had come farther into her room.

"Now I do," she responded quietly. It was like she had taken all the oxygen out of the room. There was an earsplitting silence in which Katara dared to peak over her shoulder. He just stood there, staring at her, his eyes shining in the afternoon light.

"Alright." There was almost nothing but hurt in his voice now. He wasn't angry with her, he wasn't disappointed. There was no fury behind his tears. It was pure sadness. He had never felt this hopeless in his life. There had always been something to fight for, always someone to protect, always something driving him to continue. But not anymore. His world had just fallen around him. He was sinking into deep, black water, unable to breathe. Then he left her. They both needed time to think.

_***&*&*&*&*&***_

**Hi everybody! Join me in thanking **_KraZiiePyrozHavemoreFun _**for their character Mishu. We might see more of her. Now wasn't that a dramatic chapter? Yes, the end is kinda choppy on purpose. Poor Zuzu! Poor Kat! Poor love! Isn't Mai a bisch!? Hakoda is coming up soon and you won't wanna be the last one to read what happens, it'll rock your world! That being said, if anyone has any idea what happens to Hakoda, let me know when you review to this chapter *hint hint*. I'll PM you with a yes or no.**

**~She Poe**


	12. Forever and Always

So far no one has guessed what happens with Hakoda! Come on! I won't criticise you if you are wrong, I'll simply tell you "no, sorry, use your imagination, I know you have one!" Hurry up, time is almost up, ya fools! *Sorry, Corina speak is rubbing off on me*

**Chapter 12**

(Forever & Always)

"You're lying!" Toph exclaimed, knocking her teacup over as she rose to her feet. Her finger was pointed accusingly at the powder faced girl two seats away from her. There was a long, shocked silence, in which, not only their table took part, but the whole restaurant. Spoons clattered onto the table tops as people's heads turned to the table in the center of the room. Tension built with each passing second, making the air thick and heavy. Mai just stood there, staring blankly at the blind girl who had brought total silence to the room. In a quieter tone, the earthbender continued. "You have been lying this whole time. Every word that has come from your mouth has been a lie! You broke up with seniour Hothead, and now you want him back because you just can't stand to see him happy!"

"That- that's not true!" Mai pleaded, her voice jumping from one pitch to another with every syllable. "Someone tell her that its not true!" Her eyes looked around the room frantically, only to be met by confused, yet shocked faces. The room spun as she tried to think of something to say. "Zuko and I love each other!"

"And that's why he is with my sister now and not you?" Sokka chimed in with an uncharactaristic hatered in his voice. Was he not supposed to be angry with the person who has caused his sister so much grief? "You have twisted everything! Haven't you ever heard the saying 'if you love something, set it free?'"

"You can't keep hurting people like this, Mai," Aang tossed in, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, Mai. Get over yourself!" Mushi added.

"Yeah!..." Suki attempted, then at a loss she repeated, "Yeah!"

With everyone against her, Mai felt small. She was like a little child being ruthlessly beaten by a gang of pirates. Zuko... he loved her! ... Didn't he? Everything that happened with Katara was a misunderstanding. The only reason he was with Katara was because he had been apart from Mai... wasn't it? He- he wanted to see how good he had it with her, and that's why he slept with Katara... to prove to himself that Mai was better... right? Fingers pressed to her temples, Mai closed her eyes in a panic. "He loves me! He loves _me_!" She chanted it over and over, trying to convince both herself and the people at her table. When she opened her eyes and everyone- well over twenty people- was staring at her, something snapped. "Hh-he l-loves mmee," the wicked girl tried one more time, before slumping into her chair and lying her head on the faded red table top.

_***&*&*&*&*&**_

_Dear Gran Gran, _Katara penned carefullly_. I miss you and Dad so much. How have you been? Things here were going great,but then somethings happened between Zuko and I and I need someone to talk to. Gran Gran, I know its not customary, but please do not share this with Dad, and burn this as soon as you have finished with it._

_I suppose I should start from the beginning. Three years ago, Zuko and I were kidnapped by these men who wanted information about princess Ursa. These men used me to get Zuko to tell them everything he knew. But he knew nothing. They beat me and broke some of my ribs. Only after the men were sure that Zuko knew nothing, did they leave. I kept telling Zuko that I hated him. I couldn't stand, I was coughing up blood. He carried me all the way to a little healer's hut. He would't stop blaming himself for what they did. I hugged him, Gran Gran, and that was all. It was just a hug. He stayed with me all that night, talking to me and making sure that I was alright. We learned something then: the healer Zuko had taken me to was his mother. Yes, we found princess Ursa. We stayed in her apartment for a while. I know this will sound bad, but it's not as it seems; there were only two beds in the apartment. Zuko and I slept in the same bed, but nothing inappropriate happened, I promise. during our stay there Zuko and I became friends, and he kissed me. Then he risked his life for me. The night of his coronation, I went to see him. To check and make sure he was alright. I kissed him then, to say goodbye. Nobody knew about our kisses. Well, Sokka and Toph both knew about our relationship, so that last statement wasn't entirely true. I left him to come back home. I thought being apart from him could fix all of this-all of these feelings I had might just stop and things could go back to the way they were before. You know how I was. _

_When Zuko and I reunited, things were awkward but we became friends. Best friends in fact. Our first day together, I tripped over a loose floor board. He somehow ran from across the hall and caught me before I hit the floor. Its not enough to say that I was embarassed. The second day that we were on the island, we all went down to the beach. I took Zuko swimming and showed him my world. I showed him the world of water and how beautiful everything was. He and I kissed a turtle's back. You remember the legend, right? If you kiss a baby turtle's back and then let it go your deepest wish will come true? I wished so hard. For a while, I acturally beilieved that my wish was coming true. But then, and I saw this with my own two eyes, he proposed to his girlfriend, Mai. I was devistated. I wanted him to regret it. The second evening that we went to the beach, Zuko and I star gazed. He showed me some constellations that he knew from when he was banished to the sea. One set of stars was the Lovers' Lily. When I told him that I thought that Lily would be the perfect name for a baby girl, he shared with me that he has always wanted a daughter, and as you know, so have I. We went swimming under the moon, and talked a little more. I told him that sometimes I didn't feel like a princess. He kept telling me that when he thought of a princess he thought of me. He said something that made me angry, so I ran away from him. Later that night, Zuko invited me out to the beach again. Alone. I did things with Zuko that night that I am not proud of. I thought that I was in love with him. I thought that he felt the same for me. But everything was a lie. I used to believe that the man I married would be the only to have my heart, but now I see what an amazing lie that was. Nobody told me what this would be like. There is no way for me to explane the anger and shame I feel right now. I have given myself to sombebody that shall never care for me the way I cared for him. _

_I have obeyed the rules my whole life. I figured that I should do something that would make me happy for once. I regret to say that I am no longer a, _Katara's quill hung in the air for a moment as she tried to find a less offensive way to phrase it. _Little girl. I have grown up this summer. I have known a man's love. I know that I have gone against every rule that our tribe has, and I will understand if you don't respond and never speak to me again. I've let you down. But I have no one else to turn to now. Please, I beg your forgiveness._

_Gran Gran, I am very ashamed of what I did. I really need your advice, please. With love, Katara._

Katara rolled the scroll up carefully, tying it with a dark blue ribbon that she had found on her schreibtish. The message was dropped into a carrier on a messenger hawk's back, then sent with a flick of her wrist. "I can't believe that I just sent that," the waterbender said to herself.

_***&*&*&*&**_

All is fair in love and war. That's what he had been told; but it had been a lie. War was easy, you had hundreds of people fighting, backing you up. War was a team effort where everybody helped each other. War was planning for the unplanned, knowing where everyone was and what their next move would be. War was precise. War was simple. Love on the other hand was a bloody ordeal. Love was taking the road less traveled by, straight into the dark unknown. Love was the willingness to entrust everything to another person. Love was taking chances, never knowing what was to come. Love was complicated. Love was deadly.

_Uncle Iroh,_

_Things here on Ember Island __are __ were amazing. The ocean is so relaxing, I can't believe that we don't come here more often. Though I would love to continue about the scenerey and such, I have more important-well, to you they may be rather frivilous- matters to confide in you._

_I suppose that the matter never came up that Katara and I were kidnapped three years ago. It all started with a waterfall, one that Toph had shown me the previous evening. She told me that Katara was going crazy not having any fresh water to bend, and if I wanted to at least try to get on her good side, showing her the waterfall would be my best bet. It was amazing- watching Katara be so happy. Then we exchanged some words, about our mothers. I guess she had forgotten what had happened to my mother, and her words were harsh. I was very upset, not only because she was speaking illy about my mother, but also because I thought that she had listened to me in the catacombs in Ba Sing Se. I regret to say that I used firebending toward her, and burned her face. It had been an accident (but she wears the scar well). The people who kidnapped us were seeking information about my mother. Katara and I were locked in a prison cart for at least a day; there was so little light I lost count how long we had been held captive. Eventually the men pulled us from the cart. They interrogated me. any time I could not answer one of their questions, they beat her. Uncle, they hurt her because of me. It was then that I realized I cared for her. Everytime they would punch her or kick her knees, I wanted to- in truth, I don't think I knew what I wanted to do. But I wanted them to stop. Thank Spirits that there was one partially civilized man in the group, or I fear they might have killed her, just out of my reach. I was afraid that if I moved toward her while they were still present, that they would only come back and hurt her more. I waited until they were gone before running to her. She tried to stand on her own feet, but started coughing specks of blood. Not knowing what else to do, I picked her up and ran. To my suprise, she didn't protest. Instead she cried, weather it was in pain, fear, or sheer delerium, I cannot say. _

_I brought her to the first healer I found. Its strange how fate works, isn't it? The healer I found was a firebender. It was mom. She is doing well, I write to her often. Back to what I was saying: I couldn't stop blaming myself for what happened. Still to this day I blame myself for her pain. I couldn't leave her side, though she was sitting up, and speaking. I swore to myslf that I would never let her get hurt again. You know how I start to prattle when I get nervous; I kept rambling on and on about how sorry I was. She hugged me then, an innocent way of saying that I was forgiven. Mother gave us the key to her apartment so we wouldn't have to stay in the little hut all night. The place was small; Katara and I shared a room. It was all just as innocent as the hug she had given me. I experienced her ability to bloodbend. It was a crazy feeling, one that made me see that she had her flaws, just like me. I was the one that kissed her, though not without her consent. I loved her uncle. Our relationship was breif, no more than a moth. The night of my coronation, she left me. She was homesick, and I tried to respect that._

_Katara has changed a lot since that summer. She has grown even more beautiful. Everytime I see her I can't help but smile or laugh. She just has that aura about her. We were having a great time. For a while we were inseperable, we swam together and walked together. We just wanted to become friends again. Soon that friendship grew, rather rapidly, I suppose. We spent hours lying on the beach and looking at the stars. Then she mentioned Mai. (Mai stopped by the other day, with the news that her grandmother had passed away. I offered my condolences. Just after Mai had left, Katara wanted to spar. I thought it would be fun, bring back old memories and maybe even bring us a little closer.) I knew something was wrong when she said Mai's name. She wanted me to 'Change my mind' about what I had done. Why, I asked myself, did she want me to change my mind about breaking things off with me. That question was only asked more after Katara and I were intimate. I am so confused. Mai, again showed up and invited us to lunch with her and Mushi. She announced to the whole teashop that Katara and I had shared a night. After that, Katara told me that she regrets it. Everytime Mai comes around, things go up in smoke. I really don't know what to do. But I do know that I love her, Uncle._

_Zuko_

_***&*&*&*&**_

Toph ran frantically through the street, her feet not staying on the ground long enough to feel all of the individual vibrations. She had almost gotten run over at least three times by the time she had gotten half a block from the teashop. Her heart was beating so rapidly she could hear it in her ears. In the back of her mind, she heard someone call her name. Suddenly she felt a hand grabbing her arm and pulling her onto and empty sidewalk. "Toph, what are you doing?" Sokka asked, shaking her lightly.

"Sokka! I hav- I gotta- they don't know that-" Toph breathed heavily through both her mouth and nose. "Let me go! I gotta tell Zuko that Mai's been telling every one that they were engaged; Katara needs to know that Mai's been lying!:

Sokka rolled his eyes annoyed. "That isn't worth you getting killed, Toph."

"Sokka you don't understand!" Toph tried to rip free of his grip, but he held her shoulders too tightly.

"You think I like seeing my sister like this? I don't! But I can't let you get hurt either. What kind of man would that make me?"

"At least come with me, we have to tell them." Holding out her hand, Toph stared at him through blind eyes. She felt him place his hand over her own, grasping it tightly.

And they ran.

* * *

**AWE RANDOM TOKKA MOMENT!!!! Sorry, I couldn't help it. I like Tokka, its true. **

**So, you like? You hate? You think its whicka-whicka-whack? **

**Review, bitte!**

**Oh, hey, that word schreibtisch means writing desk in German, I couldn't think of a good word in English to use. I fAiL.**

**~She Poe**


	13. Happy Ending

WRITER'S BLOCK IS A BITCH AND A HALF. Next chapter Hakoda comes in so anymore guesses? I'll give you a hint; Run to You by Lady Antebellum is the song for next chapter. ;) Oh, yeah, and by the way, Sokka has matured. He's still goofy and funloving Sokka, but he has a deeper level too. And that's why we all love him!

**Happy Ending**

Katara waved her hand through the flame of the candle sitting on her desk. The flame licked her palm lightly, almost tickling as it sealed the gashes that she had inflicted on herself. Use fire to fight fire. That old proverb was never truer to her than it was now. She quietly inspected her hand, and in seeing that the skin was closed tight, brushed her finger tips over the scar on her cheek. He had caused her so many scars; this was probably the one that bothered her the least, for it had stopped hurting moments after it was acquired. The others still ached. _It was strange_, Katara thought, her blue eyes wandered across the horizon, lingering on the spot on the beach where she had lost her innocence. _ How wounds that couldn't be seen could hurt so badly, while ones that were very candid could cause me no pain whatsoever. _

Behind her, she heard her bedroom door open. "It was all a lie!" Toph said, standing in the door way.

Sighing in agreement Katara said: "Tell me about it." Why must Toph remind her that she had fallen for something so stupid as the promise of love?

"No! What Mai said, it was all a lie. She isn't engaged to Zuko! What you saw, with the ring, it wasn't a proposal. Zuko never slept with Mai, that was a lie too! Katara, it was all a joke!"

Anger squinted Katara's blue eyes shut, then reopened them, full of tears. "Don't try to make me feel better about this. I was stupid and I lost something that I can't get back because I didn't listen!"

"Katara, what she's saying is the truth. She nearly committed suicide trying to come and tell you before you did something stupid." Sokka's eyes darted over his sister. Black ink stained the tips of her fingers, a quill lay out on the desk. "You didn't."

"I had to tell someone, Sokka! I wrote to Gran Gran and specifically told her not to tell any of this to dad. I trust her. She is the closest thing to a mother that either one of us has had in a long time. Sokka, have you ever wondered what could have happened? If I had gotten pregnant- I wouldn't be allowed a step inside the village again." Katara flexed her fingers slightly. "I believe every word that Mai said to me. You know why? Because I know people. And I could tell that Mai was not lying to me."

Toph felt her own heartbeat quicken angrily. "You think you 'know' people better than _me_? If you don't wanna listen then fine! But I know for a fact that every word out of Witch-Bitch's mouth was a lie."

"Katara," Sokka started. With his voice deeper now, she had to admit he sounded a lot like their father. He took her shoulders in his hands carefully. "Please listen to us. Toph knows what she's talking about. Nobody wants to see you like this. Especially not Zuko. As much as I hate him for... I know that he's a good guy. I'm your brother. Would I lie to you?"

"To protect me you would. I'll believe you when Zuko says for himself that he and Mai are not engaged." How could she not believe him? He had never lied to her before.

"Let's just _go_, Sokka." Toph's voice came firm and sharp. Sokka looked over his shoulder at the small earthbender. He could tell immediately that something was wrong. "She isn't going to believe us. Only Hotstuff." Taking one last look at his sister, Sokka turned to face the blind girl behind them. She held out her hand and he took hold of it loosely. As they walked down the hall toward the livingroom, Toph tightened her grip on his hand and clenched her teeth periodically.

"What's wrong, Toph?" He asked, unneccisarily guiding her to the couch.

"Sokka, I can find the couch," She replied. Her arms crossed over her chest. She threw herself down on the couch carelessly

The boy sat down beside her. "Talk to me," sokka said smoothly. Almost as if he couldn't help himself, he rested his dark hand on her pale skin. Everything seemed quiet. For a moment, Sokka had to remind himself to breath; had to remind himself that the air around them was always this heavy... it was a beach, wasn't it?

Finally, Toph broke the silence. "I've put up with her for so long. I just don't get how she can stand there and say she doesn't believe me! Its not fair, I've never been wrong about people lying before. She knows that! Why doesn't she believe me? Sokka, I'm sorry, I'm just really stressed out. Three years and I still can't grow up enough to handle stress." Angrily she rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes in one quick motion.

"Are you- are you crying, Toph?" Sokka's hand pressed lightly on her arm.

"No. I- I don't cry. I'm just frustrated. Leave me alone."

"No," Sokka interjected.

"Why?"

"Because you're like my little sister, and I care about you!"

Zuko sat in his mother's garden quietly. A single tear rolled down his face as he stared into the fountain. Why did he feel this way? He should just get over it, get over her. Running a hand through his hair, he knew he wouldn't be able to. Ever. He truly loved her, with every fiber of his being. There wasn't a single part of him that doubted that he loved her. The air seemed to grow heavy around him, almost like he was wrapped up in a smotheringly warm blanket. He could understand her confusion, he felt it too. What he couldn't understand was how she could move on so quickly. How she let Mai's words harm her. Mai was too much like Azula. And Azula always lies.

As she sat with her face on the table, Mai heard crude remarks and angry slurs coming from the mouths of everyone near her. Only moments ago, everything had been going perfectly. Now, people were pointing and jeering at her. She felt like an ant in a world of elephants, and all of them were trying their damnedest to stomp on her. It was like they enjoyed watching her squirm. Something within her snapped as she sobbed on the table top. Suddenly everything was different. She felt hopeless and worthless, and at the same time, like she needed to get revenge on someone, anyone, for the loss of her exboyfriend. Aang, Mishu, and Suki exchanged a quick glance and stood up to leave the teashop.

**The Southern Water Tribe (Three Days Later)**

Kana held her granddaughter's letter in her wrinkled hands. She was too full of greif to be angry at her, though she wouldn't have been anyway. She knew that Katara was a respectable young woman, and would never sell her heart to a man who falsely promised her love. Kana wouldn't share this letter with Hakoda, she just couldn't. Her return letter could offer only a single line of advice, and a whole paper of bad news.

**Oh my god, I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a long time! I'm a bad person. Don't SMITE ME!**

**ANY WAY! I saw the Last Airbender movie! YAY! I was so excited about the little Zutara moment, I almost skwee- ed in the middle of it! Heh! Oh, good times. If ya'll wanna find my review of the movie, go to . and Join The Website! Yay!**

**ANY WAY(for the second time)! So, what do you think Gran Gran could be upset about... Use your brains... its as simple as two words _'_ _.**

**I can almost guarantee you all thought about it, but then were like... "Nah, she wouldn't do that. Would she?" ... any hint? ;D **

**Awwe! Toph and Sokka bonding. This is where I ask you... Tokka or Sukka? **

**~She Poe**


	14. Coming Clean

_I typed this so many times and each time, it got further and further from the point I was trying to get at... so, this isn't exactly what I had planned for this chapter originally and I know I promised Run to You this chappie, but I had to re arrange some things so the ff would make sense. I hope you can forgive me for falling off the face of the fanfiction planet for what seemed like forever. I just wanted this chapter to be perfect because its kinda crucial. And we WILL find out what happens with Hakoda today... but will our characters? Hmmm...? Well here goes... and I hope its well worth the wait!_

**Chapter 14**

**Coming Clean**

By now, the sky had gone dark.Katara had spent almost six hours locked in her bedroom, willing herself to stop crying, trying to control her anger. An overwhelming longing for seclusion soon took over her. It wasn't enough to be shut away in her room... no. She needed to be somewhere that no one knew existed. Somewhere that she could just sit and collect her thoughts, as if the rest of the world didn't even exist. Of course the first thing she thought of was going for a walk along the beach; but that idea was soon shot down... why would she want to revisit the place that she had lost her innocence? She refused to go into the living room... or even through it for fear of seeing the man who had caused her so much pain. Then, an idea flashed into her mind: the garden! No one knew about the fountain in the garden! She could release some of her anger by waterbending, and the flowers might make her feel better... they were after all her favorite. Before she knew what was happening, Katara was making her way down the stairs and out through the kitchen. The dirt in the courtyard was cool against her bare feet.

The air smelled of salt water and rain, a pleasant smell for a waterbender. As Katara neared the center of the garden, the scent of roses began to mix with the smell of the air, creating an almost intoxicating aroma. Katara plucked a rose from one of the bushes and inhaled it's scent. It was the smell of peace, Katara decided. Ah, she thought. Peace. Not long ago, the thought of peace seemed so alien, so foreign, that it was best not to think about it at all. People who had thought of peace as little as five years ago used to be considered unrealistic dreamers who had no grasp on reality or concept of danger.

Suddenly coming upon the fountain, Katara realized that she wasn't alone. A dark figure stood up from the side of the fountain. "Who are you!" They said in unison. Katara drew water to her hands quickly, ready to attack; but then as his voice reached her ears, the water splashed to the ground.

"Zuko?"

"Katara?"

"What are you doing here!" Again in unison. "I'm here to be alone! Stop that!"

"Katara, please let me talk to you. I didn't want this for us... I really didn't and if you'll let me talk... then maybe you'll understand-"

"Just shut up!" Katara yelled, her eyes squinting shut and her fists clenching (the thorns on the stem of the rose pierced her skin). "I can't stand you! You're always in my way and you're everywhere I go! All you've done is mess with me! You made me feel special! You actually made me think that you loved me! You made me think that I was the only one! But I wasn't! I know! I know it all! I know what you did with Mai! I know that... that the only reason you were _with_ me was because you couldn't have been with her!" Tears started leaking out the corner of her eyes and blood started seeping from the palm of her hand down her wrist. Dammit, she swore she wouldn't cry anymore! "I'm just a _thing_! I don't mean anything! I was never important to you! You proposed to _Mai_ and that same week you violated _me_!"

"Proposed to- Katara what are you talking about? What do you mean that you were just a thing? I don't understand! Mai and I have been broken up for... you thought that we were engaged?" Zuko stood in front of her, unable to move. Had Mai really told that big of a lie? "What did she tell you?"

"Its not what she said... its what I saw! I saw you give her a ring. On the porch. Mai might be vile... but she would never do anything like that. She would never make up a marriage. She wouldn't fake love. I saw you kiss her. Tell me that wasn't real."

"She kissed me. I told her no. I never gave her an engagement ring. She dropped it. And I handed it back to her." He stepped closer to her and took her shoulders in his hands; he brought his face close to her's. "I love you. I haven't stopped."

Katara's legs felt weak, her head spun... what? What was going on? "She... she sa... said that you two were engaged... that you'd loved each other... that... that the only reason that you slept with me was because... oh my god! She lied? About everything? Oh my god I am so sorry! Everything that I..." her voice quivered as lightening clashed in the sky. "Everything that I said to you... everything that I did!" She felt rain patter on the top of her head. "You love me?" The flower, its stem now stained with blood, fell from her palm and landed silently on the grass.

"Katara I am so sorry! If I had known anything, I would have never let you believe for even one second that Mai and I were-" Zuko stopped talking abruptly as he felt Katara's slender body crush into him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, never wanting to let go. "There's something I need to know," he whispered into her hair. "Do you still regret it?"

"I am so sorry," she whispered,burying her face in his shoulder.

"Its not your fault," Zuko replied, holding her close. "I just wish I would have known... then I would have been able to stop this hurt so much sooner. You're bleeding..." He said, sliding his fingers down her arm. As he pulled his hand away she saw that his finger tips were covered in blood. Katara looked down at her arm. Streaks of blood had made their way to her elbow and were being rinsed away by the rain water.

"I'm alright," Katara assured him, closing her fist. **(**_A/N: Wow, her hands are sure bleeding a lot in this ff..._**) **"I really am sorry, Zuko."

A smile played at the corner of his lips. "Don't be," he whispered. "But I have one question... if you thought that Mai and I were engaged, why did you let us..."

"Because I wanted to. Does there have to be a reason? Do we need a reason to...?" She blushed a deep red before she could even finish her sentence.

"No... I guess we don't." At this Zuko smiled and gave a slight chuckle. Lightening arced across the sky as rain pelted down harder. The bright flash illuminated the garden for just long enough for the two teens to see each other. In that split second they both remembered, and both got goosebumps.

"Oh, Hakoda. The children will be so upset... confused... angry," Gran-Gran's voice shook. Her gray eyes looked over her silent son-in-law. He didn't respond to her. "They spent so much time being grown ups. I think that they lost their childhood when their mother passed. Kya, my darling daughter...they won't understand, you know." Still no response. "Katara, poor Katara, she's already so confused. I wonder if I did the right thing by telling her now..." Then quickly, quietly, she snapped at him. "They're going to want to know why you acted so stupidly. Was it for the good of the Tribe, or just out of pure foolishness? Of course I will tell them the former. Their opinion of their father should always be a good one. For so many years I called you my son... and now, my son, I must let you leave." Kana watched as Hakoda and two other men from the tribe were sent to the dark water. "They will never understand why you left them too."

They stumbled, soaking wet, into the kitchen. Zuko pressed his index finger to his lips: shh. Katara grabbed her hair in her hands and wrung out some of the water. The rest, she decided, would be easy to bend out. Silently, Zuko handed her a soft, red towel. She mouth a quick thank you as she took the towel from him, their hands brushing slightly as the hand-off occurred. She wasn't sure if it was the warmth of the fire burning in the fire place, or maybe just his presence, but something made her stomach flip. What ever it was, it made her say something that she wouldn't forget. "Kiss me." In a silent house, the words sounded bigger than what they were; they sounded demanding, angry, and yet, shy and afraid.

Her heart skipped a beat as he stared at her. He must think she's insane.

But he didn't.

It wasn't that he didn't want to kiss her... it was simply the shock of her wanting him to kiss her that froze him in place. He watched as her eyes grew soft and her voice grew quiet. "Please..." she added. Somehow, now he was closer to her. He was touching a hand to her face, her hair. His lips were on her's. And all too soon, they were gone. "Good night... Zuko..." she whispered, then she too was gone.

_**Soooo... sososososososoosososososooooo sorry that i've been dead for the past... way too long! Did you guys get what was goin on in the quick little Gran-Gran scene? If not it will be clarified in the next chapter. Was it what you thought for Hakoda? And what exactly happened to him? You'll read all about it in Gran-Gran's letter. I promise.**_

_**~She Poe.**_


	15. Run to You

_Okayz, so I had my lappy wiped clean so there's no viruses and stuff.. yay! Here's chappy 15. Please review, it's gonna be a good one, I promise! (and once you read it, please if you decide to hate me, put all that emotion into a review. I won't mind really go for it!) Prepare for lots of tension and drama... and yes, in the Avatar-verse, there are toilets. **if you're confused, read to find out** _AND I DO NOT THINK ALCOHOL IS GOOD AT ALL, ESPECIALLY UNDER AGE! NO SLAMMING FOR THE USE OF WINE PLEASE!

**Chapter 15**

**Run to You**

"The other night," Katara said to Zuko in the confidence of the kitchen two nights later. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." Her eyes fell away from his face, leaving the image of smooth skin, tinted dark with long the shadows of his eyelashes behind for the sight of an old wooden spoon on the counter. For some reason, that spoon seemed so fascinating. How long had it been in this house? How many pots of rice and soup had it stirred? Had Zuko's mother used it, or had servants? She wondered exactly what kind of wood it was... it had to be pretty durable... but it couldn't leave behind some weird taste either... and who would think to make a spoon out of wood? It was quite the invention, she decided. I mean...come on... a spoon... made out of wood... who does that?

"I think we said sorry enough," Zuko replied hesitantly, his voice in a low whisper. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he noticed her intense glare in the direction of a miscellaneous cooking utensil. "Hey," his voice was soft and comforting. "Its okay, really, it wasn't your fault. You can't keep beating yourself up over this." He rested his hand on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her further. He knew the guilt she was feeling, he'd felt the same way all night. All he wanted to do was hug her and never let her go, kiss her and never let it end, but it was too soon for that. Too soon for all of it except this touch, this simple gesture of friendliness, of forgiveness, not unlike the one she had showed him all those years ago under Ba Sing Se.

Suddenly, blue eyes flickered up to his, a sad seriousness raging in them. "I shouldn't have believed her."

"We've both been through Hell because of her, and from here on, things can only get better."

Katara sighed and covered his hand with her's. She ran her thumb across the back of his hand, wondering just how his skin could feel this soft after all he'd been through. Her mind wandered... how much fire had these hands held? These hands had the viciousness to burn down entire villages, and yet the tenderness to calm her, to hold her. She saw Kyoshi Island flash through her mind, then remembered his touch on the beach. How could they be the same hands? "Promise?"

Zuko's eyes settled into the stare of her misty ones. Again, he watched as her lips formed the word _promise_, only this time silently. With a sharp inhale, the firebender pulled her into a hug, arms wrapped tightly around her, lips close to her ear, and whispered; "Promise." He felt her arms tighten around his neck, and in turn held her closer, assuring her that he wouldn't let anything get between them this time.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

"Kanna?"

Gran Gran opened the door of her hut to the handsome face of a young man. She recognized this boy from before, he had been one of the youngest boys of the tribe to go to battle with Hakoda during the war, just two years Sokka's elder. "Come in, come in, you'll catch your death out there, boy!" Gran Gran rushed the young man inside. "Now, help an old woman out, I'm afraid its been so long... what's your name?"

"Bedagi," the young man said,removing his gloves. "I'm Bato's son. I'm very sorry about chief Hakoda."

Gran Gran smiled sadly and gave a quiet "thank you". "So, what business brings you here?"

Bedagi cleared his throat. "I've come to discuss your granddaughter, Katara."

"Well," Gran Gran started. "As you know, she's been out on vacation for-oh-two,three weeks now? Don't worry, I have informed her about her father. She has all the comfort she needs where she is. She's with her friends now, and someone that she loves."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

"Big brother in the room!" Sokka said before he entered the kitchen.

"We were just hugging, Sokka," Katara said, annoyed as she pushed away from Zuko. She glanced up at him, giving an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, well, even so. I don't want any excuse to beat Mr. Firelord over there up. Wouldn't be good for the whole world peace thing that's going on right now." Sokka opened a cupboard and began moving sacks of rice and flour around, looking for something quick to eat. Finding nothing, he moved on to cupboards on the other side of the kitchen. "So, is there any food here, or do I have to take Suki out to dinner?"

"By all means, Sokka, go!" Katara cried, closing the cupboards that he'd left hanging open. She crossed her arms, watching her brother tornado through the kitchen. He hadn't changed much since the war years, especially the last summer they'd spent away from home. But one thing she could say was that he was always there for her. No matter what, she knew she could talk to him about it, and he would help her. It was her job to be short with him on occasion. That's what sisters do.

"Fine, you two just have your little love-fest and I'll go out to dinner. But if I come back and you two are married and I have little steam nieces and nephews running around, there is going to be one less Firelord on this planet."

"Love you too, man," Zuko said sarcastically.

"Sorry, I'm taken. But you can have my sister. I hear she likes you."

"You got that right, Snoozles," Katara interjected, standing beside Zuko. "You, me, later?" She joked with an exaggerated wink in Zuko's direction. Moments later, all three found themselves laughing uncontrollably, shoulders shaking, faces red.

"Yeah!" Sokka choked through bursts of laughter. In a split second, he sobered up, became deadly serious. "Not while I'm here." Sokka left the two in an awkward silence, remembering that he had to find his money so he could take Suki out to dinner. He "_was sure it was in those pants... just sure of it... well... no... maybe it was in these ones.. no... these ones? No... hrm... OH! It was in the other pants... the ones with the thing on the... yeah.. that's where I left it..." _Somewhere in the middle of the pants with the blue thing on the pocket and the pants without pockets (why he even checked there was a mystery) Aang and Toph joined in on their little dinner-getting adventure.

Once they had all shuffled out the door, pockets jiggling with change that would-hopefully-cover their tab (But if it didn't, no worries, right, they were the Avatar and friends?) Zuko slid Katara a sly smirk. "What?" She asked cautiously, trying to hold back a smile. She watched as he opened a cupboard and wrapped his fingers around the neck of a tall bottle of red liquid. "Oh, no," She laughed. "I don't drink."

"You're seventeen, you can have a glass of wine. You drink it at special ceremonies don't you?" Zuko argued, pulling two glasses from the cabinet.

"_That_ is completely different, sir," she argued back, watching him pour a little amount of the purple-red wine into each of the glasses. Katara drummed her fingers on the counter top anxiously, her eyes carefully examining the two glasses, each a quarter full of red liquid. "I don't like this..."

"You know I won't force you to drink any," Zuko assured her, picking up his glass. "Honestly, this stuff tastes like crap. And its been sitting here since god knows how long."

"Well... I suppose..." Katara started slowly, reaching out for the glass. She picked it up, inspecting the wine momentarily. "One glass won't hurt. To us, Red."

"To us, Blue." They clinked their glasses together slightly and each took a sip. Katara coughed at its unexpected burning sensation. She sat her glass down heavily on the counter and lifted her fingertips to her mouth to cover her coughing. "I'm fine- I'm fine-" she assured him, quickly downing the rest of her wine before demanding more. Zuko stared at her, chuckled and poured her another half glass, refilling his own while he was at it.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"She's quite the lady," Bedagi remarked, looking at the oil portrait of Katara that Kanna had hung from the wall of the hut. "She's really very beautiful," he continued, reaching out to touch the picture. Swiftly for someone so old, Kanna swatted at his fingers with her gloved hand.

"You'll smudge it," she said in a terse excuse. "What do you want with her? My 'very beautiful' 'lady' of a granddaughter?"

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

An hour passed along with a bottle of wine. Katara found herself laughing herself into tears over absolutely nothing. The room was spinning around her, everything... the walls, the ceiling, the sofa, the firebender beside her all revolved sickeningly around her. "We..." she gasped through her laughter and violent spurt of vertigo. "W-we s-should go to bed, Sssss_punk_ie! Beforrmy brotheee getshome and and and finds us drunker than _Skunks_!"

"You're right," Zuko said. He was just as drunk as she was-mind you- but he was good at keeping a straight face while his blood was 30% wine... he'd had to on the ship years ago. Wine was the only drink that wouldn't spoil. Katara threw out her arms in his direction. Laughing quietly, he gripped her wrists and pulled her off of the couch and into his arms. Together, they took a stumbling step forward, almost collapsing over the coffee table.

"Shhh!" Katara chided. "They'll hear you! Shhhhh!" Her eyes slid up to the portraits hanging on the walls. The drunken pair shuffled down the hall to Zuko's room, snorting and holding each other up. Just as Zuko was about to open the door to his room and say good night to Katara, he felt her arms around his neck and her lips on his. He kissed her back, his hands getting lost somewhere in her hair.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"I've come to ask for her hand."

Kanna was taken aback, but thought carefully about her answer. "I'm afraid that her fingers are already intertwined with another's, and I simply cannot sever their grip just to give her hand to you, son."

"You don't have to."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Warmth was beginning to take over the dizziness in Katara's body. She felt Zuko's breath hotly on her face, her neck, her shoulders. She felt the coolness of his sheets hitting her back. She felt his hands on her arms. His warm skin on her's.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"I talked to Chief Hakoda the night before the accident. He said that I was a great warrior and that he'd be honored to have me as a son-in-law."

_No_, Kanna thought. Katara was just getting her bearings in love, and now she had lover and a betrothed. This would tear her apart. This wasn't fair. This, Kanna decided was a part of life, one neither she nor Katara could control. Bedagi was a nice young man, Kanna thought to herself. _I just hope she isn't in too deep with the Firelord. _ "I'll write her immediately."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

Zuko woke up to a faint cry outside his window. Before his eyes opened, he knew that it was before dawn, that he was really hungover, and that there was someone with really soft skin lying next to him. The firebender found himself smiling through the pain of his headache and easing out of bed as to not wake the woman that remained there. He pulled on a robe silently and opened the window. A jet black messenger hawk landed with a light thud on the window sill and turned his backside to the Firelord. Zuko unlatched the lid of the scroll cylinder that was strapped to the bird's back and removed the letter. By now, most messenger hawks would be long gone- back to their owners, but by the grain of the paper, Zuko knew that this one had come a long way. The Southern Water Tribe long. Snapping his fingers, he made a small flame whose light he would use to read with. Katara wouldn't mind.

_My Dearest Katara,_

_I know you are not foolish. And I know that love is a funny thing. You will get through this. I promise. _

_I'm not sure how to put this into words, my love, but I'm afraid there has been an accident. Your father, along with Ahiga, Kino, and Chogan, were fishing. The weather here is getting warmer, but, its summer so, there's nothing new there. Your father and the others knew they were treading on thin ice, and they knew they should not have been walking so close. The ice gave out from under them. Kino was able to drag your father, Chogan and Ahiga. But, I am so sorry to tell you that Kino was also the only survivor. You and Sokka must return as soon as possible. You are needed here._

_~Gran Gran_

Zuko looked between the letter in his hands and Katara, who was still asleep in his bed. He couldn't tell her. Not now, not after all they'd been through. So he did the only thing he could do: he put on some pants (What, you didn't think he would walk around in just a robe did you?) and knocked on Sokka's door. "Sokka," he said, keeping his voice low as he handed the other boy the parchment. Sokka scanned over the letter, his eyes transforming from tired and lazy to sad and teary.

"Does Katara-?"

"No."

"Good. I'm going home. Let her stay here. She'll cope better with you here."

"When are you going to tell her?"

"Wait a few days... she's been through a lot. Things were supposed to be getting better..." _Better_. Suddenly, Zuko flinched. He'd promised her, not even twelve hours ago, that things would be better. He saw them standing in the kitchen, smelled the scent of her hair, heard himself said that he promised. Not another broken promise... he couldn't do that to her. He nodded silently and watched Sokka tuck the parchment away. "Go back to bed. She'll want you to be there when she wakes up."

"Sokka-I-"

"Its fine. I know what happens, and I'm alright with it. You make her happy."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

"I feel like shit!" Katara breathed into Zuko's neck as she woke up. She squinted against the morning light, and tried to cover her eyes. Suddenly, a disgusting churning in her stomach made her sit up quickly, soon after leap from the bed and run into the bathroom, vomiting into the toilet. "I hate you!" she reminded him sarcastically from her place on the bathroom floor. He laughed at her quietly to himself and found her a robe to put on. She took the robe in her hands gratefully, tossing him a tired smile. "I still hate you," she whispered, kissing his cheek.

They made their way down stairs where Katara loudly announced that she was not in the mood to make breakfast and this morning, everyone would have to fend for themselves. She sat with Zuko on the couch, sipping some hot Jasmine tea, trying to alleviate her headache. It wasn't working as well as she'd hoped. She found herself more or less burying her face into Zuko's shoulder, trying to block out the light that made her head throb.

"So, did Sweetness over there hit the bottle a little too hard last night?" Toph asked, holding the empty wine bottle up in the air. Suki giggled, then seeing the disapproving glances from Sokka and Aang, quieted herself accordingly.

"We had a little wine, Toph. And could you _please_ be a little quieter?" Katara retorted, her voice sharp and annoyed.

"That's not all you had..." the blind girl said under her breath.

"Wow, thanks. I really wanted everyone to know that. You just love making me feel like an ass, don't you?"

"I calls 'em as I sees 'em, Sweetie."

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.

Another two days had passed, but Katara's hangover had not. She still vomited every now and then, and her head still ached something fierce. Zuko and her brother became worried, but she assured them that she was fine, that she just wasn't used to all of that alcohol.

By now, her stomach was so sick from all of the throwing up, that she ventured into Sokka's room in search of the herbs he ate after a meal that didn't treat him so kindly. _Wow_, she thought, looking around the room. _This place is actually pretty clean. How the hell did that happen? _She rummaged through his desk, sure that the little packet of herbs was there somewhere. Opening the drawer, Katara found what she was looking for: a small burlap bag tied together with string. It was laying on top of a piece of parchment with her name written on it in Gran Gran's handwriting. Looking over her shoulder quickly, Katara picked up the paper and unrolled it carefully. "My Dearest Katara," she read aloud to herself. "I know you are not foolish. And I know that love is a funny thing. You will get through this. I promise. I'm not sure how to put this into words, my love, but I'm afraid there has been an accident..." With that her voice trailed off. "_Dad_..." The bag of herbs slipped from her fingers and landed on the floor. She ran.

Katara found Zuko in his bedroom, talking business with Sokka. "How could you do this, Sokka?" She shouted, throwing the letter on ground and finding comfort in Zuko's arms. "Dad's dead!"

"You told her?" Zuko asked, pressing a hand to the back of Katara's head.

She pushed away from him violently, tears streaming down her face. "You knew?" Her eyes darted between both of the boys. "You both knew that my father was dead and neither of you told me? How could you?"

"We were trying to protect you," Zuko spoke up first.

"I'm going home tonight on the ship that Bato sent. You're staying here." Sokka informed her moreso than told her. He was telling what her life was. She hated it.

"He was my father too! Gran Gran needs me!"

"And you need _him_!" Sokka nodded in Zuko's direction. "I know what you were like. I won't let you go back to that. I won't, Katara!"

Suddenly, Katara sank to her knees. "Dad's dead. He's gone! We're orphans!" Zuko came to his knees beside her, and reached out to her, pulling her close to his chest. She laid there for a moment before doubling over in the other direction. "Go away!"

"I'm not leaving you. I don't care how much you push me away! I know what I did was wrong, but you can't go through this alone!" Zuko wrapped his arms around his shoulders and sat with her for hours, murmuring that everything would be alright. He sat with her through the "Its not fair"s and the "Get away from me"s and the "I love you"s. He was willing to sit with her through it all, every day, all day, any day.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o

**Holy dayumn! Long chapter... long long long chapter. AND its still not over. :) Tune in kids, tune in.**

**~She Poe**


	16. I'll Try

_And again, yes, they do have toilets in the Firenation._

_Warning: very dialogue-based chapter!_

**Chapter 16**

**(I'll Try)**

Katara coughed violently as she sat, doubled over, by the toilet. She'd been there since three AM, shaking and sniffling. Tears streamed down her face, though not from sadness anymore, but from the sheer pain of this near-constant vomiting. When her stomach had settled to the point that she felt she could leave the bathroom, she rinsed her face and mouth with clean water from the wash basin and stared into the mirror. Her eyes were red, face pale, lips swollen; she was breathing heavily, her shoulders heaving. She patted her face dry with a towel quietly and turned the door nob.

As she opened the door, she smacked Zuko square in the head. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" She whispered, reaching a hand up to his forehead. A red mark was already forming just above his scar, she knew she'd hit him there, and that he was trying to hide just how much it hurt.

"Are you alright?" He whispered, wrapping her in a hug.

She buried her nose into his chest, breathing him in. "No," she said. "I don't know what's wrong with me." Her hands balled into fists around the fabric of the back of his robe as a burning sensation fought its way up her esophagus. "I'm so tired of throwing up. I'm so tired of crying. I'm done." She sighed against his chest, a shuddering, shaking breath. "Do you think Sokka's alright?"

Zuko smiled into her hair. "I'm sure he's okay. He's only been gone a few hours. Which reminds me; Suki is going to the Southern Water Tribe to be with Sokka. Aang and Toph are going to take her on Appa, then go back to the Earth Kingdom. I got word to Uncle that there was an emergency and I needed to stay a little longer."

"Thank you."

_**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o**_

That night the others left. Just before boarding Appa, Toph pulled Katara aside. "I hope you know just how deep you're in," she said, her face painted serious. Katara gave a quick confused sound. "Two's a party. Three's a crowd, Sugarqueen." With a quick hug, she was gone, leaving Katara confused, and slightly worried for the other girl's sanity.

"What did she say?" Zuko asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"She said she hoped I felt better soon."

_**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o**_

Katara and Zuko decided to stay on Ember Island for another three weeks. After about three more days, Katara had stopped vomiting, but still 'required Zuko's care' so she remained in the Firenation for the rest of the three weeks. Besides, she wasn't ready to go home yet; to go back and see a fresh new tombstone next to her mother's. Just the thought made her shiver, but she refused to cry over anything anymore. It wasn't fair to either Zuko or her, for her to be sad and upset and emotional all the time.

One night, in the middle of the third week, Zuko woke up to a cool, empty spot on the bed beside him. Sleepily, he got out of bed and trudged over to the bathroom door. He knocked once, twice. No answer. "Katara? Are you okay?" He asked groggily. "Katara?" Turning the door handle and pulling open the door, he found the room empty. She was gone.

Suddenly awake, the Firelord began searching the house for the waterbender; throwing open doors and running up and down stairs. She wasn't anywhere. _Anywhere_! Zuko stopped in the kitchen and rested his face in his hands. _Where the hell could she have gone?_ He thought angrily. Then, almost as an afterthought; _Who could have taken her? _He remained in the kitchen for a moment or two, collecting his two AM thoughts, scratching his head. He caught a glimpse of the moon through the open curtains and things clicked in his brain. Feet flying, he threw open the kitchen door and ran toward the rose garden.

He found Katara there, sitting on one of the stone benches hunched over, eyes wide open. "It stopped." She said in acknowledgment to his presence.

"What stopped?" He asked, brushing black hair from his eyes.

Her eyes flicked to him as she drew a sharp breath. "My bleeding. It stopped."

"When?" Zuko's voice shook even as he said this one, single word.

"It was supposed to happen last week." She moved her hand to her abdomen, and stared into the fountain. "We screwed up." Her voice came flat and emotionless. She'd always thought that the day she found out that she was pregnant, she would be happy, excited, something. But now that that day was here, under these circumstances, she was cold and numb.

"I'm sorry. Katara, I'm—"

"Its not your fault," she scoffed, rubbing her stomach. "What does this mean? For us?"

Zuko crossed the open space in the garden and sat down beside her on the bench. Covering her hand with his, he promised that they would get through this. "It means..." he started. "That you'll come back to the Firenation with me. We'll tell Uncle. He'll know what to do."

"I can't."

"Why?"

From behind her, Katara pulled a piece of parchment, scrawled with Gran Gran's writing. "I'm engaged."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Katara bit her lip, with enough force just shy of drawing blood. "I'm sorry!" She hissed. "But, I'm pregnant! I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do! My father died... it could have even been the day that I lost my virginity! Do you know how that feels? While my father was dying, I was having sex with the Firelord?"

"My name is Zuko. Every time you talk about us you call me '_the Firelord_'! Do _you_ know how that feels? Does my title mean that much to you that I can't just be _Zuko_?"

"I have to go home. I have to go home and meet my fiance, I have to go and...figure out what I'm going to do about this baby."

"Our baby. Why won't you include me?"

"Because, I'm not marrying you! I'm marrying Bedagi! You won't be apart of my baby's life, so why include you now?"

"Because I'm her father!"

Silence.

"You think it's a girl?" A quiet smile spread over her face, sad but approving all at once.

"I told you," Zuko started, his voice rasping with sadness. "I've always wanted a daughter."

**O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o**

_**Sorry for the short, crappy, fast paced, gappy chapter. :(**_

_**But I felt like I owed you guys a chapter. So, I know, I know,**_

_**A lot went on. Sorry, again. But at least I updated. If you **_

_**have any questions, please PM me, and I shall answer.**_

_**Suggestions too! Lol, IDK why I'm writing like this. But,**_

_**its really friggin fun! So yeah and stuff. So... bye!**_

_**~She Poe**_


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